Thursday, 9th April, 2020


Government announces new lane for people who like to text while walking

10, Sep 2014 By Anil Sharma

New Delhi: Newly appointed BJP government took another public-friendly step today when the Road Transport and Highways Minister Nitin Gadkari announced a new lane on all the roads of the country for the people who like to chat on their phones while walking.

“People’s safety is the biggest priority for us. We don’t want people clashing with each other on the middle of a road anymore,” Nitin Gadkari said while making the announcement.

Stay focused.

Apparently, only people with smart-phones in their hands will be allowed to walk on these special lanes. There’ll be CCTV cameras installed to avoid any kind of misuse of the privilege provided by the ministry.

“If someone is caught watching the road while walking on these specific lanes, we’ll surely penalize them or even jail them if needed,” an official told Faking News.

PM Narendra Modi has asked Nitin Gadkari to come up with a roadmap in next 30 days as making such lanes in the entire country is a tough and a time consuming task.

“The phenomenon of texting while walking has become more prevalent as our society has become dependent on smart-phones and other hand-held devices for sharing creepy Good Morning Dear stickers and  yes this is me and my pimples selfies readily accessible information. When people walk with their head down and not focused on the scenery in front of them as they text and play video games, the potential for disaster unfolds. This problem isn’t generally discussed as much as distracted driving or texting while driving however the danger is just as real. Therefore we’ve taken this step,” Nitin Gadkari stated.

“Just a few days ago, I was walking on the road chatting with my friends on the phone and I suddenly collided into a truck. The truck driver suffered some serious injuries but thank God he is still alive but we can’t take such risks anymore. That personal experience of mine gave me the whole idea about this special lane,” Nitin Gadkari elaborated.

On this lane, people will not have to worry about the stupid pedestrians who move faster and force them to move faster as well just to get to their work. One can concentrate and share everything with their friends and the people they know nothing about. One can share all their problems or their happy moments like how good a bowel movement they had in the morning.

“We know that the government is failing to create jobs, but after this announcement, the jobless people will have something to rejoice about. Just imagine, you can reach your destination and clear a Candy Crush level at the very same time without getting hit by a vehicle or a telephone poll,” Nitin Gadkari further added.

Government is also planning to build special flyovers for these people.

“As a teenager crossing the road while texting is surely more dangerous than a black-cat crossing the road in front of your car,” Gadkari concluded.