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Government to relocate corrupt people after others ask them to Quit India

20, Aug 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. After social activist Anna Hazare’s “second freedom movement” to get rid of corruption from India got massive public support, government has initiated talks with “corruption” for a smooth and safe exit from India, as was done with British nationals when they left India following the first freedom movement.

Government has constituted an “empowered group of corrupt persons” (EGCP) who would work closely with a group of government representatives to draw an exit route and plan.

“We don’t want to leave this country; we are also a part of the Indian culture and social system,” Sharad Raja, the chairman of the EGCP told Faking News, “But if the fellow Indians want us to leave this country, they should at least make alternative arrangements for us.”

Corruption Quit India
Corrupt persons were very scared after reading such slogans and they immediately contacted the government for support

Mr. Raja claimed that relocation to places like Tihar Jail was “out of question” as Tihar was a part of India. “They have asked corruption to quit India, so going to jail is not the solution,” he said.

Sources inform that the corrupt persons, representing corruption, were initially lobbying for a “personal law” (as against the Lokpal law) for themselves because corruption was a way of life, almost a religion, for them.

“They wanted themselves to be out of the purview of the proposed Lokpal Bill, but we realized that it can’t work, so we started talks on their relocation,” Union Law Minister Salman Khursheed said.

It’s not yet clear where the corrupt will go; and their numbers are estimated to be running in millions.

“England has refused to take them in arguing that they were not at all responsible for giving birth to any of them, while Pakistan, where the opposition wanted the corrupts to go, asked for a similar favor from us,” informed Mr. Khursheed.

“Switzerland, where their money is supposed to be lying safe, too doesn’t want them,” the minister revealed.

Apart from the huge numbers of corrupt persons, the government is also facing a crisis in relocating them as it could cause the rest of the system to collapse.

“They are everywhere – in government organizations, private sector, bureaucracy, police, NGOs, judiciary, journalism… almost in every sector – in sizable numbers and many of them on important positions. If we banish all of them, those left might be overburdened and the system could collapse,” feared a government representative in talks with “corruption”.

“We will manage this,” the government representative expressed hope and confidence as Sharad Raja nodded in agreement.

(originally written for and published in English daily DNA) (image courtesy)