Tuesday, 26th March, 2019

Snippets

Govt to Change Name of Gurugram Again to Keep it Off the Top of the World's Most Polluted Cities List

10, Mar 2019 By Guest Patrakar

The Government is planning to change the name of Gurugram(Gurgaon) again in an effort to Clean the city. That is the city will not be on top of the World’s most polluted cities list. The spokesperson for the current Government who is permanently stationed in Republic TV’s newsroom has given a few statements regarding this move.

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We have changed the name of Gurgaon to Gurugram in hopes that it will get cleaned, but it apparently hasn’t. We named it after the original name it had during the time of Mahabharata. Still it did not work in our favour. So we are planning to go back further in history and find out the oldest name the city had and rename it again. Hopefully the city will magically clean itself.

This operation will be called Swachh Bharat 2.0. Once we rename the city the agencies who prepared the survey have to remove the name of Gurugram from their list, since the city doesn’t exist anymore. We will also ask one of our highly qualified ministers from the cow ministry to convince people that smog is good for health and Asthma can be cured by watching Republic TV.

A new scheme has also been launched to combat air pollution. It is called the “Pradhan Mantri Ramnaamsatyahai Yojna”. Under this scheme each Gurugram resident and illegal labourers will get Rs.2000 credited directly to their bank accounts for their funeral expenses if they die due to air pollution.