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Govt to offer free sign language lessons to people who are unable to speak because of Gutkha stuffed in their mouth

10, Oct 2016 By @jurnoleast

The Govt today announced that it will offer free weekend sign language lessons to habitual eaters of Gutkha who are unable to speak because their mouths are full.

Mouthful of Gutkha
Mouthful of Gutkha

The news has brought cheer to the Gutkha eating community who have signed up in large numbers for the lessons. Gutkha chewers who had resigned themselves to uttering ‘mmmmm’ while attempting to communicate have now found a solution to their conversation woes.

Faking News spoke to Jignesh Patel, who has been chewing Gutkha for the last 15 years, for his reaction. “I can’t tell you how happy I am. It’s almost impossible to speak when you mouth is full with Gutkha and can’t do without it either,” he said.

Jignesh also recounted how he landed himself in trouble on several occasions because he couldn’t open his mouth, thanks to Gutkha. “A few days back a pretty lady walked up to me to ask for directions. I had just unloaded an entire packet of Gutkha and as I tried to speak with my mouth closed, words sounded like ‘mmmm’. The lady thought I was attempting to kiss her and she was livid,” he said while recollecting his narrow escape.

The move comes after failure to have a complete clamp down on consumption of Gutkha. “We realized that banning Gutkha is not going to work. These addicts will somehow find a way to procure it. So we thought we’ll make life easier for rest of the population by offering sign language classes,” said a highly placed Govt. source.

Citizens groups have lauded Govt’s effort and said it is a step in the right direction. They further urged to take steps against the menace of ‘Gutkha stained walls’.

“We asked Guthka eaters to stop spitting on walls or face heavy fine. But that has failed to act as a deterrence. So we decided to fall in line. These defaced walls across the city will now be declared as art installation,” said the source, visibly happy at having found a way to deal with the problem.

Topics:#cancer #gutkha