Wednesday, 22nd January, 2020


Indian men take offence every five seconds, says study

06, Jul 2014 By swaroski

Cambridge. It is globally known that men think about sex every six seconds. A new study, conducted by the Harvard University, says that Indian men get offended every five seconds.

The Harvard study took six-months and conducted tests on over 500,000 men worldwide  to come to this conclusion. Indian men, not known worldwide for their sports skills, would surely be happy to know that they are finally best at something.

“I am offended!!”

The study was part of a global mission to understand men, was funded by several FMCG, electronics and consumer durable companies.

The study also found that getting offended was a global trait but 8 out of 10 offenses were taken by the Indian male. The main reasons for taking offense were: bigger car, smarter phone, Indian national leaders, cricket, politics, religion, women, Indian culture, humour, movies, nationalism, marriage, sex, books, food, skin colour, caste, mythology, social media comments, etc.

In some of the tests, the test subjects were shown images of cricketers, memes, jokes, animal pictures, cartoons, furniture, several random pictures and even an empty screen. It was found that the Indian men found everything and anything offensive in each one of those  instances when something was shown or not shown on the screen.

The research was successful in finding a brain neuron in the Indian male that filtered information and passed it to the other parts of the cerebral cortex for reaction. This neuron, unique to the Indian male, says the study, has the amazing ability to convert any information into offensive content, much like the words are converted into bits for the computer. Much like Black Holes that won’t allow light to escape, this neuron, or as scientists say, anti-neuron, does not allow offensive content to escape.

“This discovery is sure to change the understanding of human evolution as we know it,” says a scientist from the lab at Harvard.

The Homo Sapiens is known to be a species that takes information and transforms  it into rational knowledge. But it is the first instance known to mankind wherein information is translated into chaos or as the Indians say, Bhel-Puri.  This was well documented when an Indian male, after being told not to take offense before the start of the experiment, broke the computer screen when an image of Maria Sharapova was shown.

It is not known whether corrective surgery, change in location, change in the environment or any change can change this ability of the neuron.

It is also hoped that this offense taker is restricted to the internet troll world and does not enter the real world with a gun or a bazooka in hand. The male species which answers offense with a bullet is a different ball game altogether.