New Delhi. Whole of India was seen dancing in the streets as popular news satire website Faking News celebrated its first birthday today. People sent each other congratulatory SMSs, which were not received by other as they were fake, and hugged everyone that came their way even if they showed symptoms of swine flu or belonged to other castes, while those who supported Roger Federer in US Open finals had subdued celebrations.
Not only Indians, many people in other countries too celebrated the event as Faking News is a world popular website. A mega event was slated to be held at New York, USA to mark the occasion. US President Obama was also invited to the festivities that would have seen performances by Rakhi Sawant, Shahrukh Khan and a blue-colored talking donkey. On personal requests of Pagal Patrakar, US government had promised not to detain SRK over three hours at the airport this time around.
But yesterday, after witnessing Sonia Gandhi traveling by economy class in a domestic airplane, Pagal Patrakar realized how extravagant he was being by organizing such an event. Pagal Patrakar cried profusely and fainted after seeing the moving, shaking and breaking news on the Indian news channels. After regaining his conscious and conscience, Pagal Patrakar, the Managing Editor of Faking News decided to cancel the mega event to celebrate the first birthday of Faking News, and by corollary, his own birthday.
“I have deepest respect for the Indian political class and I couldn’t have organized a wasteful event when our politicians were on austerity drives. And this is not the first time when we are canceling an event. You would recall that we had canceled our launch party exactly a year back as our bankers Lehman Brothers went bankrupt the same day. I am sorry for this, but hopefully someday we’d get to organize the event.” Pagal Patrakar said, wiping off his tears.
The cancelation of the event has left many parties worried and some deeply offended. While SRK chose not to comment over it unless Salman Khan made a statement, the owner of the blue-colored talking donkey called Pagal Patrakar a ‘gadha’ and ‘kamina’. But the greatest insult came from Rakhi Sawant, who just went livid over cancellation of an even that would have allowed her to come close to US President Barack Obama.
“Rakhi is not a donkey to be saddled with such bullshit excuses. My drivers are more handsome and richer than that Pagal Patrakar. The truth is, he didn’t have balls to pay my fees and hence he had to cancel the event. And he says it’s his birthday as well! What is he trying to prove? That he is a one year old human being who is fully mature and adult? Does that not make him the man with the shortest penis? Jejus, oh jejus, why did I even believe him?” Rakhi cursed.
Pagal Patrakar refused to comment over Rakhi’s allegations but apologized to her for hurting her sentiments. Supporters of Pagal Patrakar too have hailed Rakhi’s statements and praised her while they continued partying over completion of one year by Faking News. Such reactions saddened many news channels who had expected more verbal fireworks, but they still kept on flashing the news as “Pagal plans payback to Rakhi for penis abuse”.
Pagal Patrakar uses this opportunity to deny all the fake news being propagated by some news sources masquerading as news channels and newspapers in India. We request our readers to trust only Faking News for unbiased information and incisive analysis. We also thank you today, when we genuinely turn one year old, for your support and admirable tolerance for putting up with our content. Heartfelt thanks! 🙂