Monday, 17th February, 2020


Inspired by Gujarat businessman, B-school to distribute bonus grades and attendance to students

25, Oct 2014 By Sumit Kumar

Mumbai. Students of JIMB, a premier institute of management, are going to have a happy Diwali in true sense this year. The roots of this happiness lie in Gujarat from where the concept of #AchheDin seems to have originated.

Talking to this Faking News reporter, dean of the institute said that the Gujarati businessman, who distributed goodies worth 50 crores to his employees, is the inspiration behind this decision.

Diwali bonus.

“For them, the employees are the biggest asset, but for us, students are our asset. What he gave was just money. But we have decided to take it a step further. We all know knowledge is the real wealth and in great institutes like ours, the sole determination of skill and knowledge are grades. So we are giving away one extra credit to every student whose CQPI is below 5.5,” said the dean while explaining the rationale behind the step.

“This decision has been taken after due research just like our other decision to conduct night classes. An online survey was conducted to decide the kind of bonus to be gifted. Unlike the other online surveys which the students keep floating, the response was 100 %. After cluster analysis of the responses we grouped the bonuses in three categories: Extra Credit, Extra Attendance, Extra Time,” he continued.

A professor who is (in)famous for not allowing late comers to attend class has decided to give ‘LET’ i.e. Late Entry Time.

“All through my teaching career I have been very strict to punctuality. But this year I have decided to ‘LET’ it go. I show a lot of ads to my students during the course but for a change I took a lesson out of one of the ads. I got inspired from ‘Aap kisko khush kar rahe hain’ ad. The bonus by the Mr.Dholakia acted as the final push,” explained the professor.

A general feeling of euphoria was observed among the students. Few days back all the students were very sad after watching the #GharWaliDiwali ad.

“We keep receiving ‘Happy Diwali’ mail from each Tom Dick and Harry. Nobody gives a f**k to these mails and they go to trash as soon as they are received. But this mail from the admin just lighted our Diwali. It contained a Google form just like those shitty surveys. But no, this was different. It’s no surprise that it got 100 % response,” said one of the students.

When asked which bonus option he chose, a student named Phukher G said that he opted for Extra Attendance in one of the subject. “It’s a long story” was his reply when asked about the reason of selection.

Another student, BM, chose to improve his grades in one of the subject by opting for Extra Grades. “There are some subjects in which it is just impossible to get marks. I tried all methods including beg, borrow and steal, but in vain. It has come as a boon to students like us,” BM told Faking News.

Students who have faced the brunt of professors for coming late have opted for the ‘LET’ option.

“These professors schedule their class when we feel most sleepy. Aankh lag jati hai yaar.Ho jata hoon late. Lekin nahin, you are not allowed to attend even if you are few seconds late. Last time I was just 5 Nano seconds late. No, I really measured it with my chronograph watch which I bought specially for this purpose,” said a hurt Ucan Tony.

Our reported also found one student named Narayan who could not opt for any one of the option as he had marked all admin, placecomm and other committee mails as spam.

“This is cheating. I should be given a second chance. Moreover I was in Kolkata when the mail came,” complained the poor chap.