In an unprecedented turn of events, JNU professor Dr. Lal has refused to accept the PhD thesis of his student Mr. Tanmay Pal (name changed). According to available reports, it seems that Mr. Pal managed to finish his thesis in only three years, something that everyone feels is unacceptable by JNU standards.
When contacted, Dr. Lal refused to talk to Faking News initially. When the reporter agreed to stop filming, this was Dr. Lal’s reply – verbatim.
“You see, in our school of social sciences, our masters students themselves take from up to five to seven years to get their degrees. If people like Mr. Pal start to finish their PhD in three years, this will set a very bad prescient for the coming generation of students.”
On probing further, Dr. Lal added, “You see, JNU is one of the finest institutes in India. A student when gets in for education, we not only educate him in his subject of choice but we have to make sure that he also goes tough life training program. I feel that Mr. Pal, although a fine academician, he hasn’t learnt anything about life yet. It is practically impossible to read Mao’s book 17 times, understand the philosophy enough to misquote it, visit backward regions like Sukma, Bastar and Dantewada, learn to give a proper lal-salaam etc. in only three years. These things are integral part of JNU education and require time to learn. Mr. Pal also was never seen wearing Kurta, jeans, and Adidas shoes and certainly never spotted with a Jhola. He would roam in the campus wearing fairly innocuous Lacoste t-shirt with collar and was always clean shaven. He never drank alcohol and never once was he caught with his pants down in any of the JNU corridors. For all I can remember, he was never seen in independence day celebrations on 14th August either.”
When asked if he meant 15th August, Dr. Lal replied, “Of course! What did I say?”
Dr. Lal further continued, “All this makes me feel that his education is incomplete and I can never let him get a degree from here until then.”
It was also revealed that during his PhD Mr. Pal wrote a serious research paper and Dr. Lal had to ask him what exactly he planned to do with it, since according to JNU philosophy Mr. Pal should get his name in newspapers, which is a real sign of success and not in research papers.