Thursday, 9th April, 2020


Kanpur men skip Kiss Day in the run-up to Valentines, say 'difficult to kiss with mouthful of gutkha' 

13, Feb 2019 By @jurnoleast

While most couples locked lips on Kiss Day on the eve of Valentines, youth from Kanpur decided to deviate from tradition. Most men from the city skipped Kiss Day as they found it difficult to kiss with their mouth full of gutkha.

kanpur gutkha

Some say that this is just an eyewash as Kanpuriyas can even sacrifice a kiss for gutkha. “Nothing can come between me and my packet,” said one man under condition of anonymity.

The aforementioned statement was validated by a Harvard Survey of 1000 men from the city, which revealed that around 90% prefer gutkha over kissing their girlfriend.

“Most men participated in Rose Day, Teddy Day, Hug Day and so on. But they failed miserably when it came to Kiss Day. In fact I won’t be surprised if few even propose to the gutkha packet on Valentines,” remarked a Senior Professor of Humanities from Harvard

Many women across the city were left fuming and news of breakups were also reported. “I spent 4 hours in the beauty parlor getting a facial done. Not to mention the pain of threading my upper lip. And he just skips like he doesn’t care. I’d be better off just dumping him,” said Neha Sharma, a 25 year old banker from the city, clearly signalling that their relationship is heading for a breakup.

The issue took a political turn after a reporter prompted a reply from Priyanka Gandhi, who is currently campaigning in Uttar Pradesh. “Nothing is going right in the state since Yogiji has become the CM. The govt projects itself as a champion of women’s issues but looks what women here have to go through,” said Priyanka Gandhi.

Forced to make a statement, Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath while addressint the media said, “Hamari sarkar ko Valentines Day se koi aapatti nahi hai. Lekin yeh nautanki toh badhte jaa rahi hai. Ye Hug Day, Kiss Day sab kya hai. Chumban lena hamari parampara nahi hai. Iska hum virodh karte hain theek usi tarah jaise hum gutkha ke sevan ka virodh karte aa rahe hain.”