Kerala. After the opening of the city metro during the weekend, the Keralites now claim that Kochi is a metro city along with Mumbai, New Delhi, Kolkota and Chennai, it is learnt by Faking News.
“Do you guys know that Kochi is the commercial capital of Kerala? If commercial capital of India is a metro; national capital is a metro; populous city is a metro and the car manufacturing capital is another metro then commercial capital of God’s own country also can be a metro. So far, we didn’t have a valid argument to back up our claim. Now that we have a metro, we are officially a metro city,” a Keralite, having a last name not rhyming with Tharoor or Nair, told Faking News.
“We have all the elements and ingredients that make a metro city in India. We have our slums, the roads are filled with pot holes, traffic is just as bad, the air pollution levels are trying to touch that of Delhi and our youngsters are asking for a Justin Bieber concert! If you are not convinced enough, I can go ahead with a few more like house rent, open defecation, high vegetable prices etc,” the Kerala man went on and on with his claim.
When Faking News had tried to explain the difference between a mono rail and a metro rail, and that by adding a metro to a city does not make it a metro city, the man refused to listen. “Call us erstwhile or future mono if you want, but do not take away the metro status from us,” he appealed to the media in general and Faking News in particular.
Before taking leave, Faking News reporter had politely declined the offer to take a ride in the brand new metro in the brand new metro city.