Sunday, 29th March, 2020


Nation busy with cricket and idiots, let’s plan a scam: Scamsters

07, Jan 2013 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. With the attention of the nation currently being divided between senseless statements by leaders and pointless performance by cricketers, the corrupt people of India reckon it an opportune time for carrying out a new scam.

“We can loot thousands of crores of rupees and no one will even notice,” a deeply corrupt official is reported to have sent a top-secret memo to every government department earlier this week.

Scamsters believe that scams have already lost the “news value” after the focus in Delhi shifted to women’s safety, leaders’ idiocy, and Dhoni’s captaincy.

Suresh Kalmadi
“Long time, No scam” – feel most of the corrupt people of India.

“Rest of Delhi is worried about falling mercury, while the rest of India is concerned with Delhi’s falling morals,” a corrupt person explained to Faking News why no one in the country might notice any loot if planned and executed right away.

According to our sources, the scamsters are bullish over a proposal by Suresh Kalmadi, who has proposed to host Winter Games for the commonwealth nations in Delhi.

“It will be CWG scam, reloaded,” revealed our source, “Almost everyone thinks that this is a brilliant idea – with India vs England ODI cricket series on and Hero Hockey India League coming up, no one would bother about other games.”

“We can buy a few ice slabs from CR Park fish market, cheap overcoats from Sarojini Nagar market, and second-hand roller-skates from any kabaadi to use them as ice skates after removing the wheels,” a corrupt official explained the modus operandi for the proposed scam.

“We will raise invoices running into crores of rupees for these, and we’d have a successful scam!” he added, “In fact, we may organize the whole games on paper, because anyway we have been suspended by the International Olympic Committee and can’t organize any such games!”

“Arvind Kejriwal hasn’t exposed anyone for a long time and even Arnab Goswami doesn’t talk about scams anymore,” the corrupt official pointed out, “We have to act before it’s too late. Let’s go for the Gold!”