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Now Govt to put large pics of Lauki on Cigarette packs to repulse Smokers

18, May 2016 By The Reviewer

New Delhi: In their fight to reduce cigarette consumption among Indians, Government of India has decided to put large images of Lauki on cigarette packs to repulse youngsters.

Lauki on cigarette packs
Do you still want to approach this pack of cigarettes?

Indian government has been contemplating putting larger pictorial pics on Cigarette packs to warn smokers of health risks, hoping to cut down on Cigarette consumption. However, some recent studies by Government have suggested that Smokers don’t care about pictorial warning and larger pictorial warning will only have very little impact. After this, Government has decided to take drastic measures by placing images of Lauki on cigarette packs so that youngsters stay away from it.

Avinash Prakash of Center for Advanced Random Statistics has come out with a report that says putting large pics of Lauki will have a huge impact and may cut down Cigarette consumption by as much as 85%.

“We as a race hate healthy things, if you look at our food habits, rising sales of junk food or our top medical conditions like heart attack, BP or diabetes,  it is obvious that Indians put maximum effort in avoiding eating anything healthy”, Avinash said. “Cigarette smokers ignore pictorial warnings about cancer like we avoid reading terms and conditions while installing software. We know it is there, we know it says if you get screwed you are responsible, but we ignore it. Therefore, we needed to find another way to repulse people.”

Sandeep Kadian, a well known chain smoker agreed with Mr. Prakash’s findings and said, “Just thinking of pics of veggies on my cigarette packs is creeping me out. I don’t even enter my house the day I come to know that mom has cooked Lauki. This is cruel, government could have just tripled the price instead, urban poor like me would smoke less, Lauki is just hitting below the belt.”

Trisha Khanna a student of liberal arts at JNU told us that she’d switch to Beedi if pic of Lauki is plastered on her favorite Cigarette packs. “Like there’s no way I’ll touch anything with pics of Lauki on it. Democracy has died today, Lauki fascism is rising. We need freedom from these Laukis.”

Cigarette companies are also worried with inevitable decline in revenues after veggie ruling. CEO of a leading manufacturer told us that putting veggie pics on Cigarettes is akin to putting Baba Ramdev pic on Tinder. “It kills the mood and consumer will never return” he added.

When we asked a government official why they chose Lauki over other vegetables like Tori and Tinda, he said, “Bhai we don’t want cigarette sales to reduce to zero.”