Sunday, 5th April, 2020


PETA hails mess supervisor after not finding a single chicken piece in hostel chicken gravy

27, Apr 2017 By dasu

PETA is quite encouraged by its recent study which found negligible traces of chicken in hostel chicken gravies across India.

“We do not want to address the students who were happily enjoying such gravies are non-veg eaters as the quantity of chicken in them is less than 10 PPM, which in real terms less than 10 milligrams per liters of gravy,” said PETA India CEO Purvi Joshi while speaking to us.

“During our investigation we found, for this most of the credit must go to the hostel supervisors, to some extent to hostel warden and Bahuballis among hostel students who corner a large portion of chicken pieces beforehand, thereby forcing majority to manage with ‘vegetarian’ gravy. We gave each supervisor who is doing such remarkable job, a memento and proudly displaying their names in our website as lifetime PETA volunteer,” said Ms. Purvi Joshi

Ms. Joshi added, “When our engineering students are able to adjust to healthy vegetarian life, why government babus can’t turn so at least during official meetings. That’s why we have requested PM Modi to ban meat from menus at government meetings”.

We spoke to mess supervisor, Ramu, who was hiding behind the staff quarters. When we asked him, how do you feel as a PETA activist, he said, “Sir, I do not know why such studies are being done in the mess I am working. There were chicken pieces, this PETA madam and her staff came late, by the time, the early birds to mess have finished the meat. If students come to know I am responsible for turning them vegetarian, will be in hospital bed tomorrow.”  

When we asked why are you hiding here, he said, “Forgot there is a beer party in the hostel arranged by outgoing final year college students later tonight. With no chickens now, woh to mujhe dho dalenge, that’s why hiding here.”

In the meantime, Ramu has suggested to warden, to stop this self-service buffet system. After students show their Aadhaar card, we will mark & give them two pieces of chicken on the dining table.