Couples across the country can heave a sigh of relief. government sources say that physical intimacy between couples could be excluded from social distancing norms after April 30th.
Speaking to Faking News, a highly placed Govt official said, “The lockdown and social distancing is a difficult phase for couples, especially those who are newly married. So keeping in mind their needs, Govt will relax norms on physical intimacy and allow them to enjoy each other’s company.”
Many couples who abstained from sharing a bed were ecstatic with the news. “Till now we only communicated through social media even when we were in the same house. Sending each other racy images to keep things going. Those were some hard times. But after 30th all that will be behind us,” said a banker who didn’t wish to be named.
A few adventurous couples even revealed that they have been waiting for this day since the lockdown was announced and have planned on how they’d celebrate post 20th.
“Even if PM does not announce any new Sunday task, we are planning to make love in the balcony on Sunday at 11pm,” revealed one horny ecstatic couple.
To make it easier for couples to enjoy private moments, Information and Broadcasting Ministry announced that it will telecast old C-grade hindi movies on doordarshan.
“After almost a month of abstaining from love making, it can be difficult for couples initially. So we will show some C-grade movies just to help intimacy deprived souls,” said a Ministry official.