Wednesday, 19th February, 2020


Rats living inside Parliament premises lose hearing sensation

09, Aug 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. AIIMS doctors have found that rats (rodents, not human beings) living in the Parliament have been suffering from hearing loss. The shocking truth was discovered by a group of AIIMS doctors who had been testing an antidepressant drug on animals for its efficacy. The drug is being tested for human beings as doctors feel that a lot of Indians could go into depression in near future.

“We played a ‘meow meow’ sound clip to a group of rats to fill them with anxiety and depression, so that we could administer drug dosage to them and find out how the respond,” Dr. Nirbhay Chopra informed, “While majority of the rats were indeed terrified and went into depression, a small group of three rats continued making merry and eating cheese balls.”

A rat
A rat that was found to be deaf but capable enough to protect his own interest

AIIMS doctors then segregated those rats and tried to play the sound of cat’s meow once again, but there was no response. Finally Dr. Chopra appeared before them wearing a cat’s mask (actually Shera mask, the mascot of CWG, which he had bought for his little son last year), and the rats ran helter-skelter consequently.

“Clearly they could see but couldn’t hear,” Dr. Chopra concluded, “The rats were almost deaf. We found more deaf rats in our subsequent tests and finally looked into our records to solve this mystery.”

To his amusement and horror, Dr. Chopra found out that all the rats, which had gone deaf, were caught near the Parliament premises during the last week.

“In fact, they have been living under Lok Sabha or Rajya Sabha floors,” Dr. Chopra claimed, “We later found what looked like chunks of Lokpal Bill and Women’s Reservation Bill along with bread crumbs from the mousetraps in which they were delivered to our lab.”

Doctors are still researching the causes of what might have caused the rats to go deaf. Two theories have been doing the round – either the rats couldn’t sustain the high decibels of daily slogan shouting that MPs indulged in, or they inherited the characteristics of MPs after eating their leftover food from the parliament canteen.

“They can see everything around, but they don’t seem to hear or react,” Dr. Chopra explained.