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Russian derecognized as language after failing to come up with Kolaveri Di version

31, Dec 2011 By Rahul Saraf

New Delhi. In a surprise move, Dr. Manmohan Singh, who is the incumbent cultural minister of India, announced that “Russian” would be derecognized as a language in the country because it could not come up with its own version of the song “Why This Kolaveri Di”.

Currently serving as the Prime Minister of India as well, Dr. Singh said that India was forced to take such a step after Russia did not respond to any of the dossiers that had been sent by the government asking the former communist nation to take corrective steps.

“We did not want to give the other nations an impression that we will not act if countries ignore our dossiers,” he said before adding that “India is not a soft state”.

Alien singing some song
Martians too have composed their own version of the Kolaveri song that they intend to use to communicate with the earth people

Kolaveri Di, a song from the Tamil movie Three has become quite a rage in the cyber space with almost every language releasing its own version of the song. News channel CNN (the US one, and not the one which has Rajdeep Sardesai as its editor-in-chief) recently even declared it as the top song of the year 2011.

Various foreign languages and nations had also released their own avatar of the song that reinforced the belief that India was an emerging superpower. Recently, even Pakistan released its own Kolaveri version, but Russia was not responding at all, which forced the government to derecognize the Russian language.

India’s Foreign Minister, SM Krishna denied reports that this was India’s revenge after Russia had almost banned the Bhagwad Gita.

“India and Russia have always enjoyed a cordial relationship,” Krishna said, “I was in fact the first one to greet the Russian President Dmitri Medvedev when his wife Carla Bruni gave birth to a daughter recently.”

After his statement, Digvijay Singh was quick to save the government from the usual embarrassment when he clarified that “Rahul Baba had immediately pointed out to SM Krishna that it was the French President and his wife, Carla who were blessed with a daughter.”

There are unconfirmed reports that this move was prompted by the unsatisfactory reception of youth leader Rahul Gandhi by a dalit family in Russia, where he had gone on his first foreign tour as the future Prime Minister of India.

Rahul, who had invited himself for dinner at a Russian residence of an NRI dalit family, did not quite enjoy the food. He particularly didn’t like the appetizers prepared by the family. He had remarked that “Why does the tag of ‘poor starters’ have to be attached to every Indian team visiting overseas. It has to end somewhere”.

This move by the government to derecognize the Russian language could result in tensions between the two nations. The opposition led by the BJP has demanded that the government must resign, while Party President Nitin Gadkari has demanded that he be allowed to taste the Russian food prepared by the concerned family.