On Christmas eve, Santa Claus visited many Indian cities. Faking News reporters have sent the following report about his experiences:
New Delhi: As soon as Santa Claus entered the city, he was mobbed by excited AAP supporters. They took him to an ongoing mohalla sabha in Rajouri garden and asked him how he decides on what gifts to give. They were disappointed that Santa doesn’t send SMSes to people asking for their opinions on gifts, and instead prefers to give them a surprise.
Mumbai: Santa was confused as he found chimneys in a couple of shopping complexes and no chimneys in homes. He arrived late due to traffic and couldn’t park his reindeer cart anywhere. He was almost beaten up by MNS workers who confused North Pole for North India. But he could escape by giving the best gifts to the local population.
Kolkata: Santa was again in trouble as he was confused for being Maoist supporter due to his red dress. Later Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee apologized and clarified that she was secular enough to allow red on Christmas.
Chennai: First thing Santa did after reaching Chennai was to change his clothes, as it was too hot there. “My traditional dress is winter wear and I can’t use them here,” said Santa, sporting three quarter pant and a cotton t-shirt.
Bangalore: As expected, he was welcomed by IT company’s executives who thought Santa must have brought some business from US, but they were left disappointed. Santa gifted some Christmas holidays as gifts to a few lucky IT guys, but those leaves were later cancelled by the bosses.
Hyderabad: The moment Santa landed in Hyderabad, he was bombarded with question regarding his stand on creation of Telangana. Confused Santa left the city after eating Biryani.
Ahmedabad: Santa was told that Ahmedabad was even better than North Pole and he should settle in the city. Santa promised to look into the offer and headed for remaining cities soon.
Lucknow: Mayawati greeted him an unusual question “kaun se caste ke ho?” to which Santa said “Ho Ho Ho”. He was immediately branded a Samajwadi Party supporter due to his ridiculous answer and red color. Later Samajwadi Party leaders asked him to get a picture clicked with CM Akhilesh Yadav. Santa did that, and afterwards no one bothered about him.
Patna: Santa had to walk around on foot as his reindeers refused to enter Patna after someone scared them about Lalu Yadav’s fodder scam. Lalu blamed communal forces for spreading the rumor and he invited Santa to his house. Lalu also gifted Santa a couple of oxen and a lantern, and suggested him to move around in a bullock cart.