Mumbai. It’s been barely a month in his new job as an Assistant Security Guard for Tiger (not be confused with an upcoming Bollywood superstar) but the 5-year-old third generation Labrador is already bored of his new job and role.
All day long Tiger goes around all types of cars that come into Global Business Center – a commercial building leasing out office spaces – to sniff and find out if they contain any dangerous materials.
He is also supposed to figure out which person could be a thief and bark at him.
“All of them look like thieves to me,” Tiger told Faking News, “On my very first day I suspected a guy to be thief and barked at him, but later it turned out that he was the CEO of a real estate company that made this building.”
Sources confirm that Tiger no longer barks, and he also appears uninterested in inspecting cars that driving into the building.
“Man, I so want to pee on the tires of those cars or just run behind them when they drive past me, but no, I’ve to fukin act cool and composed and just sniff the tires and boots. This is depressing,” Tiger opened up to this reporter.
The brownish yellow skinned canine was born a normal dog and had normal desires like retrieving a ball or having rivalry with cars, but his life changed when he was adopted by Sampat, a security solutions provider who trained him to be a security professional.
Instead of sniffing fellow dogs, Tiger grew up sniffing things like drugs and gunpowder. He was never really interested in all this shit, but Sampat said that a great career waited him if he mastered these arts.
“He said I could become a police dog, and may even join the Indian army and save the country from terror attacks,” Tiger recalled how he was motivated for the job, “But here I am saving stupid private companies from god-knows-what.”
“I have been cheated in the name of nationalism,” Tiger came up with a sound-bite that alerted a news channel operating from the 8th floor of Global Business Center, but thankfully he was not interviewed by the news channel.