When we got information from polar sources that Santa Claus is planning to write a letter to Indian kids, we raced to his clandestine location near North Pole and got in touch with him.
Shocked by our power to gather news even before it has happened, Santa decided to convey his appeal via Faking News.
Looking at our camera, he started, “Bhaiyon! Behenon!” and bit his tongue. “Sorry! I had been watching videos of Modi and this habit has eaten me. Specifically, I was watching the advertisements of ‘giving up LPG subsidy’ multiple times before drafting my letter. But since you guys came here, I will just do the appeal via video.”
Adjusting his cap, Santa continued, “Dear kids of India! I am now working on bringing you gifts for the wonderful Christmas season. All these years, you had been receiving lavish gifts every Christmas. But, being such a vast nation, your Santa uncle cannot go to each and every home to deliver gifts. And most of the gifts are being given to rich kids, because poor kids cannot write to me in English and I do not know your Indian languages. It pains me that such poor kids had to spend yet another Christmas with empty stomach and empty socks. “
“That is why I appeal to all Indian kids to give up their Santa gift this year and perhaps forever. I had read in newspaper that many Indians had given up their LPG subsidy to enable poor get it at lower cost. Similarly, Indian kids should give up their Christmas gifts so that I can share those gifts to poor Indian kids. You can simply write a letter to me saying that you give up subsidy or just tweet to @theRealSantaClaus with a hashtag #IGiveUpXmasGift and it will be automatically altered in my database,” concluded Santa.
After hearing the appeal from Santa, Indian kids started sending mails to the North Pole residence of Santa or tagged him in Twitter with the corresponding hashtag.
Many netizen praised Santa with phrases like ‘Har Har Santa! Ghar Ghar Santa!’ denoting how Santa needs to visit every home.
But it wasn’t the same with all kids. One angry Indian kid shouted, “Heavily grown-up kids above the age of 360 months are still receiving gifts to do their job. They receive gifts all through the year from people who want their job to be done. Let them first give up their gifts. Then, we will give up.”
Meanwhile, Christian groups across India had blamed Modi for scaring Santa. A leader of one such group claimed, “The rising Intolerance has scared Santa Claus. That is the reason Santa is avoiding Modi’s India. This appeal is just a eyewash, to hide the real fear of Santa. Who knows, Santa might even fear that GharWapsi might be done on him if he tries to enter India!”