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Since all of us are corrupt, every family will get one Lokpal

01, Nov 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. After the government successfully concluded that every Indian was corrupt, especially those associated with the Anna Hazare’s anti-corruption movement, a new bill is being proposed that will make it mandatory for each family to have its own Lokpal. The new Lokpals will first cleanse Indian population of corruption, putting them on a higher moral ground than the politicians, which will then legitimize their fight against corruption.

“Those living in glass houses shouldn’t throw stone at others,” Congress spokesman Abhishek Manu Singhvi criticized the aam aadmi, who was either corrupt or a beneficiary of corruption by his family members.

Ham Sab Chor Hain - a 1956 movie
Government has produced such documents to back their findings that most of the Indians were corrupt right since the days of Jawahar Lal Nehru

Buoyed by this finding of an estimated 80% of Indians absolutely corrupt, government has decided to bring a new bill that will appoint one Lokpal for every Indian family of at least four members. These Lokpals will punish the aam aadmi for their corrupt practices by humiliating them in public and imposing occasional fines.

Earlier a Janta Lokpal Bill was proposed by some civil society groups to put the aam aadmi on a higher moral ground, but as always the government came up with their own version of the bill proposing one Lokpal for every family.

“A young man claiming to be honest would be reminded how he benefited from the corruption of his absolutely corrupt father who worked as a PWD engineer and got him educated in the top institutes,” Mr. Singhvi explained the functions and duties of the Lokpals.

Once every aam aadmi becomes honest and attains the moral authority for speaking out against corruption, the central government will then initiate proceedings to have a Lokpal that will check corruption in the establishment.

“The issue is not what should be done to check corruption, but who should be doing something to check corruption,” Hariram, a legal expert explained the thought process behind the new proposed bill and the general mood around the anti-corruption movement in India.