Bengaluru: In a move that would ensure that his popularity goes through the roof, Vijay Mallya announced that he now plans to hook up engineering students with Kingfisher calendar girls.
Plus he is also planning to charge an entry fee for all interested students the amount which will go towards clearing his massive debt.
We spoke to Mr Mallya himself for more details and he said, “Now I was really concerned about my popularity with the masses which included a lot of engineering students cum MBA aspirants mugging up my credit history and failed ventures and also were heavily criticising me. I initially thought that it was because of me being a wilful defaulter but later I found out it was because of utter jealousy. They were reportedly inflamed after they saw really hot girls around me and an unlimited supply of booze before me even to I owed more money than they owe to the Juice and cigarette wala.
“So in order to increase my popularity with a sizable amount of Indian population I decided to set them up with the ultra popular Kingfisher calendar girls. I would also charge Rs 1000 as entry fee and thanks to a huge number of students all of my debt would be recovered and would also result in me making a sizable profit,” he added.
“But as there are million more students as compared to girls just like there are billions I owe as compared to the thousands I have, there would be an IIT-JEE level test and only the top 100 or so would be hooked up,” he clarified.
The banks have decided to write off all Vijay Mallya’s debt feeling fully satisfied with the fact that he even decided to make an effort towards paying it back. They would now be applying for a bailout from the government at the taxpayer’s expense.