Uttam Pradesh. Residents of a village named Panipuri are still using an old half-torn rope bridge even though they have a newly constructed concrete bridge in place, and they don’t even have to pay any toll tax to use it.
Faking News sent a fact-finding team to Panipuri where we met a local person named Sethu Soondaramurthy, who explained the concerns of the villagers.
“Look,” he said, “we did demand for a bridge for a long time but we were simply not prepared to see this day. We also pray for many things from God, but do we get everything?”
“We are habituated of seeing government projects going clueless generations after generations just like TV serials. Foundation stones are laid, and after some days these things become either good dry cleaners or effective means of bio-fuel generation. So when this project was announced by laying the cornerstone, we were pretty sure that we won’t see this bridge in our lifetime!” he explained.
“But after some days, to our grave horror, we saw that the work has started and it kept going on with a decent speed!” he recounted the turn of events, “Within six months half of the bridge was completed! What the hell!”
“Even at that point we were optimistic that they will soon realize their mistake. We even had a celebration when the work was stalled for a couple of weeks after contractor’s wife reportedly ran away with the engineer. But all of our hopes got thrashed when the project got completed within just over a year.”
“You see, we simply can’t accept such a careless attitude from government authorities,” said another person who had stopped by after seeing the press and revealed his name as Bridgemohan.
Local villagers say that the authorities must have compromised on the quality of materials used as they could meet the deadline. Some of them fear that the bridge might be cursed as it was against the accepted tradition of delayed projects. There are various theories, but everyone agrees that something is wrong.
“Indeed,” agreed Mr. Sethu, “Now we don’t understand why they have hurried so much when we don’t have even any election coming in the next four years. They should have taken their time. What were they thinking!”
As a result of this deep distrust towards the timely completed bridge, the villagers have been using a rickety old bridge made of rope and logs.
While the incident has confused experts, the news has been met with much enthusiasm in the IT sector. IT employees, who are accustomed of regular bashing from the clients and higher managements for late delivery, are hailing the decision of villagers as “natural thing to do”.
“Our *beep* clients and managers should take a lesson from those villagers. What those people understand, these *beep*s don’t get,” said a rebellious employee in sports shoes along with formals, “Quality should NEVER EVER be compromised for deadlines!”
Though he didn’t want his name to be published, he said that his words were the voice of the entire industry. “If the railway employees get overtime when a train runs late, why can’t we?!” said another anonymous voice of the industry with chai and sutta in his hand, “Late completion of projects ensures quality.”