Superhero Arnab Goswami is known for his verbal superpowers, which has defeated many villains on TV. However, Faking News has found out that Arnab uses his superpowers even when he is not wearing his Newshour suit. He is the only one who can talk to a wrong number for 20 minutes. This is what happened when a person wrongly dialed Arnab’s number.
Caller: Hello, may I speak with Raju bhai?
Arnab: First of all, in the beginning of this call itself, I want to make it clear that I am neither Raju nor your bhai. You are not going to get any brotherly love here. I am here to ask some straight questions.
Caller: (Puzzled) I meant Rajesh Kapadia.
Arnab: Who Rajesh? The nation wants to know.
Caller: Err, I wanted to speak to Rajesh, my college friend. Can you tell me where he is? (Voice starts echoing due to problems in network)
Arnab: Mister Caller, first switch off the volume of your television set and then repeat what you said.
Caller: Sir, Please give the phone to Rajesh. It’s urgent.
Arnab: (covering the phone with hand and talking to himself) Looks like we have some interesting conversation coming in ON THE PHONEHOUR TONIGHT. (resuming the conversation with the caller) Who are you? Why did you call me at such an odd time? Answer my questions first!
Arnab: You have no answer to my question!
Caller: I guess I have dialed a wrong number.
Arnab: Are you trying to dodge my question? You just said you want to speak to Raju bhai and now you say Mister Caller that you were wrong. You are completely exposed on this phone call tonight.
Caller: (Shocked, checks if he is wearing clothes) Arre bhai Jaane do plz. (Pleading)
Arnab: What do you mean by “jaane do”? This is my phone number and not some other number where you can get away by saying anything.
Caller: I made a mistake. Now let me go. I am….
Arnab: (Interrupting) No No No No… You must first apologize unconditionally for what you have done. The nation wants an apology. (Rare Pause) Well Since you have no answers tonight, let me get some more people on the line. (Dials a conference call) Vinod Mehta can you hear me? Suhel Seth can you hear me? Maroof Raza can you hear? Let’s start the conference.
Caller: I said I have dialed a wrong number, and thus the call should end here. Enough!
Arnab: No the call doesn’t end here Mister Caller. I remember your voice. This is not the first time you have called. You are a habitual wrong number caller. You called me last time on 28th Nov 2010 and you said and I quote “Rajubhai Kemcho. Majja ma” Now tell me wasn’t that you?
Caller: Guess Rajesh bhai gave me a wrong…
Arnab: (Interrupting) Wait a second I was not finished. THE NATION IS FED UP WITH SUCH CALLS.
Caller: I don’t go calling everyone in the nation. I don’t know why are you bringing nation in this conversation.
Arnab: Mister Caller, don’t try to deviate from the topic. Let me get Maroof in.
Caller: You get whosoever in you want, but I am disconnecting.
Arnab: I dare you to disconnect my call without answering my questions. You can’t get away so easily. Your number has flashed on my screen. If you disconnect I’ll find you and expose you completely.
Caller: Enough of this bullshit! I think you have got money from the Virgin mobile that pays for incoming calls.
Arnab: (Changes posture menacingly) What did you say? No what did you just say? Repeat yourself.
Caller: I said what I had to. Why should I repeat myself?
Arnab: Wait a second now. Nobody will interrupt. Its one on one between me and caller now.
Caller: *Getting jittery*
Arnab: Never ever ever ever again say something as ridiculous as I take money. The callers of my number know me that I am an honest person and for you to say this is disgusting.
Caller: (Nervously) You can say what you want.
Arnab: Listen to me now Mister Caller. Answer me. How dare you? How dare you? I ll ask you again. How dare you?
(Caller hangs up)
Arnab: (to himself and everyone around waiting for him to hang up on the wrong number) Well clearly the caller had no answer to my questions tonight and therefore chose to leave the phone call. But this should teach a lesson to people who dial wrong numbers and are trying to corrupt the system of telephonic conversations. Good night.