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Snippets

Arnab’s NewsHour to be aired on alternate days to curb noise pollution

07, Dec 2015 By Shaitaan Khopdi ™

New Delhi: Inspired by Delhi Govt’s revolutionary Even-Odd rule to curb air pollution, India is all set to take giant strides towards reducing noise pollution too.

Now odd-even formula for Arnab's debates too
Now odd-even formula for Arnab’s debates too

As per our sources, a group of eminent people met PM Narendra Modi and submitted a proposal asking to keep Arnab Goswami’s News Hour off air on alternate days. This will help in reducing the noise levels in country to 50% and contribute towards making India a livable place.

As the news came out, people gave varied reactions ranging from ‘Sigh of relief to disbelief’.

Rajiv, a resident of Gulmohar Park in South Delhi told, “I am glad that someone saw the elephant in the room and took him by its trumpeting trunk. Enough is enough. India doesn’t want to know, it never did.  India doesn’t care what Arnab rants about. I don’t care how many marriages Indrani Mukherjea did. I want to know how many new trains were introduced in the budget and how many jobs were created. India wants him to SHUT UP!!!! Oh God I am so happy, I will be able to sleep peacefully finally.”

Another lady from Rajori Garden told, “Ye itna chillata hai ki mai Cooker ki seeti nahi sun pati hoon, aur roz Sabzi jal jati hai. Ab kam se kam mera khana to ban payega.”

Huge cheers were also heard from the offices of rival news channels whose news anchors were on constant dose of Strepsils since last 2 years, trying to make their voices heard during prime time.

Sanjay Jha was seen partying till late night with Sambhit Patra after hearing this news.

However, as the news sink in, slowly people started thinking about the void Arnab’s absence will create. Who will set the agenda for outrage in Arnab’s absence?

An NDTV reporter permanently stationed at the gate of Sadhvi Prachi’s residence started working on a regular show featuring likes of Sadhvi Prachi and Sakshi Maharaj where reporter will take their opinions on topics such as Global Warming and Russia-Turkey standoff.

Meanwhile the biggest reaction came from actor Aamir Khan, who welcomed this step and told Shaitaan Khopdi™ that if this proposal is implemented, India will indeed be a better place to live and he would then cancel his plans of leaving India.