Mumbai. An editor in chief of a popular news channel was fired today, for an unsounded reason, sources very close to the news channel told Faking News.
The Editor immediately went on job hunting and found it extremely difficult to list down the skills which are mandatory in many online job portals. His entire resume, rewritten several times, had only two words. 1. Shouting 2. Repeating
When a state-owned job portal flashed an almost magical result of ‘A match found’, the ex-editor jumped first and was horrified later to see the vacancy for a court bailiff’s job in a district court in Delhi. He shouted and repeated a few expletives until the common sense prevailed.
Suddenly the job looked lucrative as the job demanded the skills of shouting and repeating and he could use the skills to the fullest and most importantly no one would make fun of it anymore.
As the fate would have it, a panel was setup to interview the ex-editor for the job. Faking News presents you an extract of the same:
Panel: – Tell us briefly, what are you skills? Ex-Editor: – I can repeatedly shout (or) shout repeatedly (or) fully repeat and shout (or) fully shout and repeat.
Panel: -Impressive. Why do you shout? Why do you repeat? Ex-Editor: – I shout, so that the last person, with chronic level hard-of-hearing ailment, can hear the important announcements. I repeat, so that if someone has just joined the forum by remote control malfunction, can know what is going on.
Panel: – Do you know that ‘shouting and repeating’ is to-be-made-fun-of material? Also, do you know that all the novice satire writes took up to write an article on you as their first assignment, during your erstwhile editor-in-chief role? Ex-Editor: – Now, I know. I am glad I could help the satire writers. To defy the sarcastic community, in my new job as court bailiff, I will make the announcements in inaudible voice and just once. Then, the world will know how important shouting and repeating is.
The panel later awarded the job to the ex-editor after asking him not to shouting anymore, after they found that even his normal voice started at 112 decibels.