Noida. Shit scared after making shitty shit-scary news reports about the world ending in 2012, at least three India TV journalists committed suicide in their office early today. Experts predict that fear psychosis could soon engulf the whole news channel, as well as other Hindi news channels of India, and we could see more mass suicides by television journalists in the coming days.
“I’m not sure of the world, but the whole clan of Hindi television journalists could end by 21 December 2012,” Acharya Indu Prakash, a leading expert on predictions and almost anything, claimed during a report telecast on India TV after the deaths were confirmed by a local hospital.
Following the recent earthquake in Japan, Hindi news channels like India TV, Aaj Tak, IBN7, and others have been reporting diligently how these natural disasters could be the possible signs of the world ending in 2012 i.e. the doomsday as predicted by some Mayan calendar.
“It seems that those three guys started believing the news reports they were writing and producing,” Dr. Ashok Sinha of Jaanlewa Hospital near the India TV office deduced, “We are trying to decipher a suicide note that they had left; it’s as badly written as their news reports.”
Dr. Sinha, a neurosurgeon, further claimed that after the “failed” doomsday prediction by the Hindi news channels in September 2008, when they scared the shit out of everyone by claiming that the world would end due to the Large Hadron Collider experiment by CERN, no one, maybe except themselves, takes the Hindi television journalists seriously now.
“Chhaya, a girl in a Madhya Pradesh village, had then committed suicide after channels like India TV had predicted that the earth would crack up and people would be sucked inside a black hole due to the Big Bang experiment,” Dr. Sinha recalled, “I’m not sure if these three were the guys who had written that horrible news report as well.”
Meanwhile India TV has refused to give Faking News the details of the journalists who committed suicide, but they could share the information with other Hindi news channels, which in turn could use the news of these suicides as a further sign of the impending doomsday in 2012.