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Impressed with their skills in 'jumping to conclusion', Govt. asks Indian media to represent country in long jump event

04, Aug 2016 By @jurnoleast

New Delhi: In a bid to boost its medals tally, the Sports Ministry has requested the Indian media to represent the country in long jump event. The decision was taken after a closed door meeting between ministry officials and the PM Modi.

Be ready to see a few familiar faces from the media in the contingent
Be ready to see a few familiar faces from the media in the contingent

Speaking to Faking News a senior Govt. official said, “Indian media’s ability to jump to conclusion is something which we all know. There is absolutely no doubt in our minds that if the media is part of contingent, we will have a gold for sure. With each passing day, the media is setting new records.”

Several former Olympians too agreed that in the last 10 years, Indian media looked equally good and in some cases better than athletes who are part of the Rio contingent.

Speaking on this issue boxer Mary Kom said, “I am a regular viewer of NewsHour debate and honestly speaking bouts between panelists and news anchor are some of the best boxing skills I have seen in my professional career. Even without any formal training they are good to go to Rio.”

Sources say last minute changes are possible in the final Olympic contingent, with anchors from major news channels being approached to represent the country.

It’s not just long jump and boxing, some senior sportsperson are keen on gymnastics too. “Deepa Kamarkar is our medal hope, but have you seen the media twist news. How they move from one news to another, twist it and still manage to perfectly land on their feet. It’s remarkable,” said a former Olympian.

Meanwhile, several media persons were ecstatic at the prospect of representing the country and said that their efforts were finally paying off.