Saturday, 11th April, 2020


Nation thanks Advani for taking focus away from spot-fixing

07, Jun 2013 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. Tired, fed up, and mighty pissed-off with non-stop news coverage of IPL spot-fixing controversy, the citizens of India have unanimously thanked LK Advani for forcing the news channels to shift focus.

“It was a masterstroke by Advani ji when he praised Shivraj Singh Chauhan in the same breath while talking about Narendra Modi. It was an explosion that was needed to wake up the media people sleeping in IPL stadiums,” said a visibly happy Arvind.

“Well, Naxals also carried out explosions, but it didn’t seem to have the same impact as Advani’s statement so far as media coverage is concerned,” Arvind added why he was so grateful to the BJP leader and could now safely switch to news channels when he was bored of watching Colors and Cartoon Network.

Arvind even danced to the tunes of jhampak jhampak to show his happiness.

Lal Krishna Advani
LK Advani waves to his newly made fans

Similar happiness was experienced by millions of others regular TV news viewers, who were sick of spot-fixing and betting related news being shown round the clock.

“I was spooked when the news about Raj Kundra admitting to betting on IPL matches came out yesterday. Last night I got nightmares about Shilpa Shetty being everywhere on news channels like Vindu Dara Singh was. But thanks to Advani ji, who didn’t go to Goa today, news channels didn’t go astray again,” a relieved Aamir told Faking News.

It should be noted that a majority of those grateful to LK Advani were not fans of Advani. In fact, some were anti-Advani.

“Finally he did something right,” Ravi Narayan, a self-declared Narendra Modi fan said, “He should gracefully retire now because this feat can’t be bettered.”

Experts too believe that Advani had managed to achieve something that was looking virtually impossible.

“With CAG Vinod Rai retired, it appeared that scams also retired. India appeared corruption-free, women appeared safe, and no politician appeared issuing stupid statements,” an expert recalled the nature of news coverage just a few days back.

“GDP growth rate dropping below 5%, rupee weakening against dollar, hints towards a political assassination, or even Tendulkar retiring from IPL didn’t make news!” the expert underlined the importance of Advani.

Experts candidly admitted that they didn’t expect Advani to break this TV news reporting loop that was stuck at spot-fixing.

“We thought one of these events could do the trick and break the loop – China coming 500 kilometers inside India, Poonam Pandey falling into a borewell, or Rahul Gandhi getting a new haircut.”