Indian Media in Nepal was jolted by a massive quake, measuring 9.0 on the Twitter Scale on May 3. Casualties were feared to be widespread when entire facades came crashing down within seconds. 85 year old
house of cards institutions like The Indian Express were reduced to rubble by the Nepali Social Media reaction.
Prime Minister Narendra Modi swung into action and air-dropped National Disaster Relief Force (NDRF) into Nepal. In a stirring slogan of No Credibility Left Behind, he ordered NDRF to stay as long as it takes to evacuate all Indian Media personnel from the ravaged country before they could do any more damage.
External Affairs Minister Sushma Swaraj tweeted, “500 tonnes of newsprint and100 rolls of film reel have been sent via C-17 Globemasters. A special consignment of 1000 Boxes of Burnol was also flagged off”
Geological experts are divided on the root cause of these media disasters. Its widely believed that mainstream English Media is sitting on an active faultline that separates fact & fiction. According to this theory, when the Fictional tectonic plate slides over the Fact plate, it results in a major quake. Opinion is divided on whether to classify these as man-made disasters (because some of these are caused by woman-anchors).
Readers may remember a similar calamity in Yemen, which triggered a Tsunami of tweets that swept across the Arabian Sea and threatened India’s Mumbai coastline.
PM Modi was monitoring the rapidly worsening situation in Kathmandu via Twitter. Initially, he noticed that #SoulVultures was trending, but soon realized that missionaries weren’t the #SoleVultures. Sensing fatigue in the faces of Media anchors due to their selfless coverage, grateful Nepalis trended #GoHomeIndianMedia.
“On World Press Freedom Day (May 3), we press for freedom from interviews”, said a distraught Nepali. He grudgingly admitted that Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw’s comment about Gorkhas apply equally well to the media, “If a man says he is not afraid of ridicule, he is either lying or works for MSM“