New Delhi. Frustrated by the inactivity of BJP on the Ram Mandir issue despite the fact that it was strongly hinted by the its ‘sources’, NDTV themselves will begin the construction of the Mandir at Ayodhya, our sources have indicated, apparently to inspire BJP to take up the matter.
Commenting on the report, Vikas Khanna, Marketing Head of NDTV said, “The news is true. This is our strategic shift from News Reporting to News Forecasting, and even, as in this case, News Facilitating. Since our ‘sources’ have confirmed, means sooner or later it is going to happen! So we will start the construction, maybe a floor or two and inspire BJP to take up a matter so close to its heart, but which it is ignoring right now.”
He continued, over a cup of tea, this time on the condition of anonymity.
“Man, we have invested heavily in anticipation of Ayodhya issue gaining heat before the elections. We have hired Ram Janmabhoomi and Babri experts of early 90’s. Got the historians out of the relics of history, you see. Turns out that our source was in fact close to a source, who was close to the aide of a VHP member. I think he was his Paanwala. Now, if BJP won’t build it, then by God, we will!” said Kickass Khanna (name changed).
Sources of our sources have further confirmed that NDTV has outsourced the construction owing to lack of resources.
“Our journalists are not expected to go out there in open and do physical labor to create
news temple, so we have outsourced it to a real estate company,” an NDTV source confirmed.
A section of NDTV claimed that they were vindicated by Rajnath Singh’s this statement and hence there was nothing unethical in going ahead with the construction of the temple.
When contacted by Faking News,
Rajnath Singh Rajnath Singh’s aide said, “Yaar, bhavanao ko samjho! I was, err… I mean the BJP President was, at Maha Kumbh Mela. Not just any Mela, not even a Kumbh Mela, but Maha Kumbh Mela! There were crores of devotees and VHP men, especially Togadia. You can’t say we can’t build Ram Mandir in front of such people. It’s like saying Afzal Guru was guilty in front of Arundhati Roy!”
“I, err… I mean the BJP President, cannot speak more; have big shoes to fill,” his aide said, staring at a huge pair of shoes in the corner.