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News Channels sign deal with Bollywood for creating one Munni every second month

15, Dec 2010 By Prabuddha

New Delhi. Now, this was waiting to happen. After the runaway success of Sheela and Munni in blazing the TRP charts, News Channels of India (NCA) has sealed a deal with Bollywood, though in a rather hush-hush manner but not without FN’s knowledge, for ensuring an uninterrupted supply of item songs that could be presented as “news”.

FN (Faking News) has a copy of the contract in its possession, which stipulates that from 1st January 2011 onwards, Bollywood will provide a raunchy item no. for news channels, with all the “making-of-the-” video footage and “soundbites” of actors, director, choreographer, cinematographer, technicians, and spotboys.

Clause 2b of the contract says, “The song video must show at least 67% body of the dancer, an adult female human being, uncovered. It should arouse the male human beings of any age nationwide.” While clause 12 clearly states that one item song after each second month should be produced, as the NCA feels that they require at least 6 item songs a year to have stable TRPs.

News channels have been trying their best to realign their news reports to suit the latest item song from Bollywood, now they want to do it in a much organized manner

Sources close to the industry also claim that the news channels are mulling over presenting some of their anchors as Sheela and Munni. They will keep changing their names every two-month when they get the new song. This step will not only guarantee the immediate recognition but much needed eye-balls too. Prime time new bulletins will only be anchored by such beauties.

“Yes, I got a call from a news channel to join them,” Sheela Kejwani, a struggling model and resident of Paharganj in Delhi confirmed.

Apart from TRPs, such step could also bring additional revenues to the news channels as sources inform that some wedding planners have also tied up with the NCA for allowing them to show news channels on huge projector screens during weddings, so that the Baratis can have a blast. This will cut down the cost of DJs as news channels provide the same level of entertainment.

“They have already made circus jokers jobless, now they can’t take away our jobs,” Dharmesh Jani, a DJ protested while taking part in a rally organized by the DJ association at Jantar Mantar. News channels blacked out this news.

But such protests notwithstanding, the deal between the NCA and Bollywood promises to be win-win for everybody. Even the satta bazaar, or the betting market, has put millions of rupees on guessing the name of the next “Munni”. As per our sources, Kajri, Guddo, Kattu and Shaalu are leading the race.