Wednesday, 19th February, 2020


Newshour panelists demand strategic timeouts during debates to reassess their strategy of avoiding Arnab's onslaught

02, May 2016 By Hemant Bijapurkar

Mumbai: Several Newshour panelists today gathered in front of Times Now’s office to demand a strategic timeout in-between the debates, thereby providing them with some time to huddle up and reevaluate their strategy of avoiding Arnab’s onslaught.

Arnab announcing the strategic timeout
Arnab announcing the strategic timeout

The panelists were reportedly forced to make this demand due to a conspicuous lack of advertisements during Times Now’s self proclaimed super primetime.

We spoke to a regular panelist Mr Moonjay Jha for more details, “We all appear on the Newshour every night fully prepared to be berated, abused, trolled and cursed at and that’s just by other panelists and what Arnab does to us is infinitely more dangerous. So me and some other panelists who are on top of Arnab’s hit list, chalk out a comprehensive strategy to effectively counter and if possible even blunt Arnab’s vicious attack. But unfortunately all of our plans get thrown out of the window and we start scrambling for cover.”

When asked about the inspiration for the idea he said, “I was watching IPL last night I saw the bowling team take the strategic timeout just after it became available after getting totally hammered by the batting side, with them scoring at about 11 runs per over. But after the game resumed whatever strategy they employed seemed to work wonders as the batting team was now scoring at a rate of just 10.5 per over. It might not seem huge but if we manage to bring down Arnab from 100% bashing to 99.5% it would be a huge achievement and would be more dramatic than Leicester City’s form this season.”

When asked about the possiblity of Arnab properly utilising the timeout and then coming out to bash then even more heavily, Moonjha just laughed and stated that Arnab has already attained the heighest level of outrage possible for any human.

Arnab is reportedly very anguished after learning that panelists actually make a strategy before coming on air and not leave it all to commotion and chaos.