Sunday, 23rd February, 2020


Politician planning an assoholic comment to hit national news

08, Aug 2013 By idiot420

Lucknow. Inspired by stalwarts of foot-in-mouth category of politicians, Duryodhan Singh, an MLA from eastern Uttar Pradesh is planning to do something on the lines of Digvijay Singh, Nitesh Rane, and now Bhim Singh.

“12 murder charges, 35 extortion charges, and if I count a few other criminal cases pending against me, it goes up to 56. ab tak chhappan and even the local Hindi paper ‘subah samachar‘ hasn’t given me a front page coverage,” said a frustrated Duryodhan Singh.

JD(U) leader Bhim Singh
The latest kuda kid on the block

“Even I dream of getting featured in national dailies. Even I want to see my name trending on Twitter and being discussed by English speaking beautiful news anchors,” he explained why he was planning to issue a totally outrageous and shit-flowing statement.

“A statement that makes me appear an arrogant asshole who doesn’t give an ass about what the outraging middle class thinks,” Duryodhan Singh painted the perfect picture for himself.

On conditions of anonymity, a close aide of Duryodhan said, “Karn Singh, a close friend of MLA saab who is also an MP, has done some good work, but he too failed to hit the national headlines – so good work was simply ruled out. Now MLA saab himself is a big gunda, but he’s yet to kill any honest IAS officer; that will surely put him in national news. But the government has asked him not to kill anyone till elections. So the only hope he has of making it big is by scandalizing people. He is just waiting for a shubh-muhurat.”

“It is not like they are doing any extra effort,” a political expert told Faking News about the latest phenomenon of politicians getting fame by issuing chutiyatic, sorry, idiotic statements, “As a matter of fact, most of them have a natural flair. But they were unaware of the high PR potential these comments had, until politicians like Digvijay Singh made it big.”

Duryodhan Singh was busy collecting contact details of all leading journalists and media organizations when reports last came in. He will issue a statement soon, sources confirm.