New Delhi: While elections are still going on and results are almost a month away, many print and electronic media personalities have sensed that post 16th May, their jobs might be in danger. Some even have started preparing for the holocaust by enrolling into MNREGA and exploring alternate jobs.
Rajdeep Sardesai – Rajdeep has decided to shift his base to Ahmadabad, a city which has been instrumental in shaping his career during last 12 years. Sources tell that he will write a regular column on development in Gujarat under MNREGA. He might have to give away ‘Old Monk’ in a dry state, but he is ready to make mall sacrifices adjustments. Sardesai tweeted “When Old Monk is not around; Sense will finally prevail over Sensationalism. Good Night.”
Arnab Goswami – After a soft interview with Rahul Gandhi and a narrow escape with Raj Thakerey, Arnab was seen frankly speaking with MNREGA officials inquiring about the job openings. He was assured of a job of loud speaker during future Modi rallies.
Sagarika Ghose – Ms. Ghose is having nightmares about Internet Hindus taking revenge by pressing voting buttons. She even stopped conducting SMS votes on her show Fake The Nation. Psychiatrists say that she is so scared that she cannot differentiate between a voting machine and a bomb.
News Panelists – “There isn’t an iota of doubt that Mr Narendra Modi and his crony capitalist friends will be behind the bars, and under the leadership of Mr Rahul Gandhi Hamara Congress will form government”, said a worried looking famous news panelist before signing the MNREGA form.
Arvind Kejriwal – The Delhi Daredevil has been approached by ‘Khatron ke Khiladi’ a reality show where contestants perform dangerous stunts on camera. His record of facing slap, ink, egg and cameras alike has made him an eligible candidate for the show.
Praveen Togadiya and Pramod Muthalik – The hate monger duo are are not sure if BJP coming into power is good news or bad news for them. Nonetheless they are looking to expand their operations and have invited resumes of tainted people on Monsters.com
Satire writers – Various satire writers who made a living out of cracking jokes on UPA had a sudden realization that very soon they will be jobless. Shaitaan Khopdi™ hurriedly put up a satire on Modi to balance his Karma. After reading the article, a person named Giriraj Singh sent Shaitaan Khopdi™ a one-way ticket to Karachi.
“Wow I never got a ‘broken penny’ from Faking News, but looks like some people acknowledge real talent,” told excited looking Shaitaan Khopdi™ while checking his flight details and weather updates of Karachi on Google.