Mumbai. Everyone knows that Boost is the secret of energy of Sachin Tendulkar and Kapil Dev, but both of them are now retired. The most energetic person right now in action in India is Arnab Goswami. And no one knows the secret of his energy.
But things are set to change. Times Now has decided to let the nation know what it always wanted. The news channel is all set to release the diet details of Arnab Goswami, which will explain how Arnab derives so much of energy that is later dissipated during the Newshour.
“We have a special cook for Arnab here in our office canteen. He claims that his forefathers cooked for Bhim during the Mahabharat days,” a Times Now official revealed.
The cook, nicknamed Chhota Bhim, is one of the most valued employees of the channel after Arnab Goswami.
“I have learned on the job. I did refer to notes taken by my forefathers, but I improvised and developed the secret dish that gives Arnab the energy required for being superhuman,” Chhota Bhim told Faking News.
The cook confirmed that he uses outrage released by Arnab Goswami as fuel.
“It is a self sustainable recyclable energy,” he said, “He derives energy from the dishes and then releases that energy as outrage. We have a special gadget that captures that outrage into a cylinder and the same cylinder is used to cook food the following day.”
Perhaps this explains why India has still not become a superpower despite the huge outraged released by Arnab Goswami every day. All of that are being used to create further outrage.
But Times Now denies that they are denying the nation vital energy required for growth.
“If the energy contained in Arnab’s outraged is allowed to release in public, it could be misused by anti-national elements and Pakistanis to make nuclear bombs, which is why we capture that and put that back in LPG cylinders,” the Times Now official explained.
When asked to reveal the secret ingredients and diet that Arnab enjoys, Chhota Bhim said, “I can’t tell you the ingredients else the competing channels will copy that, but we can tell you the name of dishes.”
“Arnab’s favorite dish is ‘Sanjay Jha’. He devours it,” the cook revealed, “But I he loved it best when I cooked Abhijit Mukherjee. He also likes dishes like Lekhi, Narvekar, and Swamy. But his dream dish is Rahul Gandhi, which I’m trying to cook.”