Patna: In a major blow to the Rashtriya Janata Dal chief Lalu Prasad Yadav, 13 cows have deserted his air conditioned cowshed and have pledged their allegiance to Azam Khan of Samajwadi Party in Uttar Pradesh.
Sources tell Faking News that the incident happened last week, but days after found missing, 6 of them returned with Lalu to his cowshed.
Last week, it was a normal weekend trip for Lalu to his cowsheds, when the caretaker of the shed appeared pale and confused. After blaming communal forces for his troubles, Ram Singh, the caretaker, finally broke down and revealed to Lalu that 13 cows were missing for the past 3 days.
Lalu is reported to have said “Bhat Day Buck” before realizing that Ram Singh was telling the truth. He immediately checked the remaining cows and made a list of those missing.
After three days of frantic searching, the cows were found to be with Azam Khan, the world famous bovine lover.
Initially, Lalu was too furious with Azam and wanted to convene a press meet to blast him left right and center. However, to save his secular image and to stop communal forces from coming to power, Lalu decided to underplay the law and order situation in Uttar Pradeh.
When this correspondent got in touch with Azam Khan, and asked how did Lalu’s cows land in his cowshed, he said, “This is all ploy and propaganda of Amit Shah and Modi. They are trying to create rift between people of different religions.”
However, this correspondent braved himself into the secret cowshed and interviewed the 7 dissident cows who didn’t return with Lalu.
Sam, leader of the resistance, said, “We are still not getting enough fodder even though we saw invoices raised to buy enough fodder. Also, the air-conditioner was not working properly. One day we read about Azam Khan sahab using police to search for his missing buffaloes. We decided to join him. We are with him. Mooooo!” And the rest of the cows mooed in unison.
Our Bihar reporter interviewed the returned cows. Siddi, the leader of the returned cows, said, “This is a cowspiracy by the Nitish Kumar. We were told by state authorities that we are being shifted to a new cowshed and that Sam urged us to leave our Laluji. But, when we ended up in Azam’s shed, we realized it was a plot by several forces against Lalu ji. Now we are back to being what we were; Lalu’s pets.”