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Apple to introduce custom iPhones for AAP supporters

14, Sep 2014 By surajr

Cupertino, USA. After launching the latest iPhone-6 at a special Apple event on September 9, Apple CEO Tim Cook sent the tech world into a tizzy by announcing a custom iPhone targeted at AAP supporters.

While the name of the phone has not yet been revealed, gambling sites are already taking bets on the probable names of the device, the favorites being iPhone6A, AAPhone and iPhone83B.

Speaking exclusively to Faking News technology correspondent Dal Makhni, Apple CEO Tim Cook said, “For Apple to enter into any partnership, there has to be a confluence of synergies. Firstly, between the two organizations namely Apple and the AAP and secondly and more importantly, between the two target consumers i.e Fanboys and AAPians. In my entire career, I have never seen such a perfect match of Kundalis.”

Tim Cook
The biggest announcement for the aam aadmi

Elaborating on the synergies between Apple and the AAP, Cook said, “To find similarities between Apple and the AAP, one simply has to observe the way the two organizations work. Apple projects itself as a pioneer in design and technology, creating cutting edge products that are several generations ahead of the competition. But in reality, our yet to be released iPhone 6 offers the features that were already available on other platforms 2 years ago. Instead of creating innovative products, we file lawsuits against our competitors who actually create ingenious devices, thereby allowing us time to copy their features on to our phones.”

“Likewise, the AAP claims to be a political party unlike any other, with the aim of eliminating corruption in the political system. However, in practice, it has become just an anti-BJP party. It follows the best practices of every other political party such as resorting to violenceracism and religious vote-bank politics. Also, both Apple and AAP events are more about the spectacle and drama and less about substance.”

To explain the similarities between (Apple) Fanboys and AAP supporters, AAP National Executive member and social scientist Shri Yogendra Yadav aka ‘The Real Salim Shady’ also spoke with Dal Makhni via Facetime.

“Apple Fanboys are paid members of the Church of Apple. Their social behavior resembles that of the followers of a cult, in this case, the cult of the founder of Apple, late Shri Steve Jobs ji. These supporters will blindly buy anything Steve Jobs sells, at exorbitant prices, be it antiquated phones or just plain water. In fact, I am sure Steve could have sold flavored air for twice the price Lays sells them for,” Mr. Yadav claimed.

“Further, any attempt to malign the clearly inferior Apple products are met with fierce opposition from fanboys on social media. In fact several media houses are blatantly pro-Apple. This is exactly the same in case of the AAP supporters with Arvind Kejriwal ji being the leader of the cult … er.. I mean masses. The word of Arvind is taken as Gospel and everything else is irrelevant, no matter how much evidence points to the contrary. Though we don’t have sufficient mainstream media support for the AAP, we are starting to build our base there using contacts of Ashutosh and Krantikari Punya Prasun Bajpai,” he added.

While most AAP supporters are overjoyed at the news of a custom iPhone, the cost of the device has become a cause of concern for many. However, addressing the concerns of AAP supporters, cult leader party supremo Arvind Kejriwal declared that all AAP MLAs would “donate” Rs. 20 Lakh from the MLA Fund to help the AAP supporters afford the iPhone after selling one kidney.

Though there have been no details on the custom features for the AAP on the iPhone, Dal Makhni expects features such as a slap-detection camera, sting operation mode and automatic typo keyboard on the device. The phone is also rumored to include a urine-testing sensor and coughing-noise elimination microphone. A muffler is also to be included on the Apple logo to indicate the newly-forged partnership, according to sources close to the development.