Tuesday, 28th January, 2020


CAG predicts notional loss of Rs 50 to govt employees due to Lokpal

18, Dec 2013 By idiot420

New Delhi. Soon after much talked about Lokpal bill was passed in both houses of the parliament, CAG released its latest report analyzing bill’s impact on the Indian economy, especially on government employees.

Sources tell Faking News that the CAG report predicts a notional loss of Rs 50 per month to those fun loving government servants who don’t mind to earn few extra bucks from so called “other sources of income”.

The Comptroller & Auditor General (CAG) pointed out that this minor dip in monthly earning will take place not because the babus were worried, but because some of them were fans of the whole idea of Lokpal though they have no plans to become non-corrupt.

Anna Hazare
Anna was like ‘what crap is this now’ when he was told about the latest findings

In a survey conducted by CAG, many sarkari babus disclosed that they are quite impressed by the hard work done by politicians, team Anna, and team Kejriwal.

“I was moved by the whole effort put in by these people where they fasted and did all kind of drama to pass this bill. I can surely do my bit by cutting my under the table income by Rs 300. I can sacrifice this much for my country,” said a babu on condition of anonymity.

Many such babus, involved in mild to hardcore corruption, are donating as per their capacity. CAG averaged similar self taken pledges to derive this final figure of Rs 50 per month.

“We have also accounted for the fact that other bribe takers would take similar vows under peer pressure,” an officer from CAG office confirmed, “This is their magnanimity, else the losses would have been on the common man, not babus!”

Clause 46 of the Bill provides for a punishment with imprisonment for a term which may extend to one year and with a fine which may extend to Rs1 lakh in case a complaint is found to be false.

“I have heard people planning to play pranks on potential whistleblowers by acting as if they are taking bribe and later get them in jail on charge of false complaining,” the officer revealed.

“This is going to create panic among whistleblowers, and they will refrain themselves from blowing whistle again. Aamdani atthanni kharcha rupaiya wali baat ho jayegi,” explained the officer how the losses could be on the common man too.

However, unperturbed by figures, Anna Hazare has hailed the Lokpal bill once again. Revising his estimate, he said that he would be more than happy even if Lokpal drops corruption by 0.01257%.

Meanwhile, Rahul Gandhi called it an achievement of UPA rule.

“A figure of just Rs 50 rupees is quite heartwarming. It is making an impact, but not pinching in a scenario where inflation is already high,” said Rahul, “Or as Sibal ji would have said, it’s almost a zero loss Lokpal.”