Friday, 10th April, 2020


CBI arrests Samajwadi Party leader speaking in English

10, Dec 2012 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. An unnamed MP belonging to the Samajwadi Party was arrested by the CBI this evening when the investigators found him speaking in English. The MP was ordering Pizza and he said “yes, a cheesy dip too along with a bottle of Coke” when the sleuths arrested him.

He was arrested based on the statement by party leader Mohan Singh, who claimed that no one from Samajwadi Party could be involved in lobbying for Walmart as no party leader could speak English.

Mohan Singh
Samajwadi Party leader Mohan Singh speaking something in Hindi

“We suspect him to be involved in shady dealings with Walmart,” a CBI officer told Faking News on conditions of anonymity.

“We can’t reveal the name of the MP as per the orders from above,” he further said.

While government sources refused to comment over the issue, Samajwadi Party has rubbished the report. Party leader Mohan Singh reiterated that no MP from Samajwadi Party could speak English.

“Amar Singh was the last MP of our party who could speak English, and he spoke all that he knew while on phone with Bipasha Basu,” Mohan Singh claimed (he spoke in Hindi with English subtitles), “We don’t have any other leader who speaks English on phone.”

However, BJP insisted that the news was true and the UPA government was again using CBI to pressurize Samajwadi Party into supporting them on some other issue after FDI in retail.

“BSP is flexing muscles on the reservations in promotions issue, and the government can’t afford a belligerent SP at the same time, so they are using CBI,” BJP spokesperson Ravi Shankar Prasad claimed.

Meanwhile, Walmart India has clarified that their employees in India could speak Hindi and other regional languages.

“But that doesn’t mean we are talking to anyone in Hindi for lobbying,” a Walmart official hastily added to avoid any further controversy.

In other news, Rapidex, widely known for publishing language learning self-help books, has announced a special edition for non-English speaking leaders and politicians of India, so that they didn’t miss out on earning money through international lobbying.

“The special editions of this book will be given free if your shopping bill is over 3000 rupees in a Walmart store,” a Rapidex sales manager declared.