New Delhi. Congress has come out with its
gums guns blazing in support of reservation for the “minority” opposition in the new Lok Sabha.
After drowning in the recent electoral tsunamo tsunami, the party in a desperate effort to seize initiative is playing the minority card once again.
“Rahul Jee wept when he saw the way minority opposition will be treated by communal forces. So, he had demanded immediate reservation to protect interests of such minorities.”
“We will start a roadshow for 20% reservation for Congress in Lok Sabha,” Digvijay Singh told Faking News.
Rahul Gandhi spent the whole last night on the opposition benches in Lok Sabha in a dress rehearsal for his new role. While fondly revisiting the ruling party benches he found that Manmohan singh’s mike had no power cord for the last 10 years.
“It was a conspiracy by communal forces to keep the PM quiet. Now we have found evidence and we will take it to people’s court,” he thundered as he uprooted the mike while giving a clean chit to the bench.
He also demanded MNERGA and Food Security Act for minority opposition. Kapil Sibal whisked him away before Mr. Gandhi could cause more than zero loss.
Faking News caught up with Mr. Gandhi at his residence for a detailed interview on his latest stance:
FN : Mr Gandhi, even if BJP passes 20% reservation bill. Where will you get the MPs from, Congress has only 44 MPs?
RG : See, to understand this you have to understand opposition. What is opposition? Where does it come from? What does it eat? In India women are facing opposition, youth of this nation face opposition, opposition is everywhere. But can you see it ? No. You need Hubble telescope to see opposition in India and that’s after you have launched yourself using Mangalyaan.
FN : Are you asking me the question Sir?
RG : Yes, I am asking you a question, it is a conversation.You have to understand the processes of an opposition. In democracy, process is everything. There is a process in the constitution and that process says “Process must be followed”. So we are following this process.
FN : Sir, I am afraid I am not getting you.
RG : Look at Batman. He faces so much opposition from Superman, Spiderman. No one comes to his help in Gotham. Communal forces have divided them all. Popeye is forced to use performance enhancers to fight communal forces. They need help, and this bill will help them all.
FN : (finally in Rahul mode) But sir, Popeye eats spinach!
RG : Yes, but have we ever asked ourselves who cooks that spinach for him? His Mother. No one cares about women. What Rahul Gandhi wants to do is empower the women in this country, wants to unleash the power of these women, I mean, we talk about being a superpower. We can use all this spinach.
FN : (back to normal mode) Sir, I still don’t understand opposition (sweating).
RG : In the end, opposition is just a state of mind. (this reporter starts packing up his things) Where are you going?
FN : Sir, I just realized there is no battery in my camera. I think I am facing opposition from my editor. It is a sabotage. Now I understand your theory fully. It’s all in the mind. May the power… errrr opposition be with you sir. Thank You.