Varanasi. Making sensational claims about the presence of huge crowd in Rahul Gandhi’s roadshow earlier today, BJP has alleged that Congress had gathered people by falsely claiming that it was Rahul Gandhi’s baraat (wedding procession) and baratis will get free food.
“Congress has used this strategy in many of Rahul’s earlier roadshows too, there is nothing new in it. And why do you think Rahul is still unmarried? Just to repeat this drama again and again for political benefits,” claimed BJP’s chief conspiracy theorist Subramanian Swamy.
Mr. Swamy cited the presence of shehnai music and vedic matras being played in the roadshow as clinching evidences of his theory that the roadshow was falsely marketed as Rahul Gandhi’s wedding procession.
“This was to make people believe that it was indeed Rahul’s baraat. Otherwise, who plays shehnai in a political roadshow?” argued Swamy, “And above that, we have also spotted a band playing Bollywood tracks in the roadshow. What more proof do we need?”
“Buddhu has finally made others buddhu!” he concluded in his trademark style.
Unable to explain the presence of crowds in Rahul Gandhi’s roadshow, the BJP has decided to go with Swamy’s theory. The party later released pics of people dancing and carrying garlands in their hands, proving that people mistook the roadshow as baraat.
“It is a common sight in every Indian baraat; baraatis do carry garlands to put them around necks of bride-side people. It proves that many in the roadshow were thinking that they were part of Rahul’s baraat,” Janaardhan Mishra, a member of BJP’s local unit demanded that Election Commission should add the baraat budget in Congress election expenses.
However, Congress party has flatly rejected BJP’s assertions and called it a conspiracy theory fabricated to conceal the nervousness of the saffron party.
“If it was a baraat, why were there no stickers reading ‘Rahul Weds XYZ’ on the vehicles that were part of the procession? People are not that fool as we think!” reacted Congress leader Salman Khurshid, who claimed that there was huge Rahul Gandhi wave and today’s roadshow proved that UPA will return to power in a week.
But BJP is sticking to its conspiracy theory. In response to Khurshid’s poser, BJP’s Ravishankar Prasad told Faking News that most of the baraatis never care about stickers or who is getting married to whom, because all they care about is free food and naagin dance.
When we tried to get Rahul Gandhi’s response on BJP’s claims, he refused to make any comment, but sources say that he blushed.
But the most convincing counter to BJP’s conspiracy theory came from Congress’ own conspiracy theorist Digvijay Singh, who initially refused to talk to us when he heard about wedding and baraat. When we said that it was not a personal question, he agreed to speak to us.
“In UP and Bihar, baaraat is taken out in the evening, not in the morning or in the afternoon,” he pointed out.