New Delhi. A group of “fake pilots”, arrested by authorities in the past few days, have offered free laptops and other benefits to passengers, especially those hailing from Tamil Nadu, in exchange for “legitimacy” of their professional status. In fact, passengers from Tamil Nadu have been promised a whole moth of free air-travel if they pressurize the government into stopping the crackdown on the “community” of fake pilots.
“We will provide free laptops with TV tuner cards to watch cricket matches if their free color TVs have started malfunctioning,” promised Prem Pushpak, a self-styled leader of the fake pilots, “Not only laptops, we can give rice at one rupees per kg, onions free of cost, mixer, grinder, ceiling fans, mangalsutra, Benarasi saari, Amul Macho underwear, anything they want; you name it, we have it with us – and you get all of them free!”
In exchange for all these freebies, the fake pilots have asked the common people to help them with their “struggle” against the police and regulatory authorities, who have been arresting them and others, who helped them get the fake flying licenses.
“The common citizens have to come together just once and sign a petition asking the government to grant us legitimacy,” Prem Pushpak explained, “We should be allowed to fly planes and serve the citizens, which is the sole purpose of our lives. We appeal to people in Tamil Nadu to take lead.”
When Faking News asked why he was making an appeal to the people of Tamil Nadu among all in the country, Prem said, “Tamil Nadu folks seem to be the most considerate when it comes to such cases. If people can give legitimacy to a people running government in exchange for free laptops, they might as well do that for people running planes.”
“And yeah, governments have crashed earlier, but mind you, no fake pilot ever crashed any plane,” he argued.
Prem Pushpak is confident that his appeal would be given a favorable response by the people. “But this is no bribe or trading; we are genuinely interested in serving people by flying them from one destination to another,” Prem reiterated.