Monday, 16th December, 2019

Snippets

Fed up with people issuing bizarre statements, Modi launches ShutUp India campaign

09, Apr 2016 By Shaitaan Khopdi ™

New Delhi: After the whirl winding success of initiatives like GiveItUp, StartUp India and StandUp India, Modi government is now planning to launch another cool sounding mission – ShutUp India.

PM Modi urging people to raise their finger and place it on their lips as part of ShutUp India intiative
PM Modi urging people to raise their finger and place it on their lips as part of ShutUp India intiative

It is aimed at silencing those who act as self-styled spokespersons of government and always have wrong things to say at wrong time. If the experiment becomes successful, government will extend its definition to cover celebrities and other public figures as well.

“Whenever we are in a position to corner the opposition on key issues, someone from our side bails them out by issuing stupid statements bordering on hyper-nationalism. Thanks to such comments, Modi government has gone to back foot more number of times than the PM Modi has gone to foreign visits during his 2 years in office. Modi ji’s situation is similar to Dhoni’s situation in Team India’s T20 semi-final match against WI. Whenever fielder took catch, it turned out to be a no-ball and batsmen rather than getting out, were awarded with a free-hit,” explained parliamentary affairs minister Venkaiah Naidu who is at his wit’s end trying to convince opposition not to raise these issues and let the parliament function.

Explaining the salient features of the ShutUp India, Naidu further told that just like Swach Bharat Mission and Make In India, this initiative will also have healthy participation from corporate sector. Center fresh – ‘Zuban pe rakhe lagam’ and Chlormint – ‘Dobara mat puchna’ have already confirmed their participation in ShutUp India. However Alpenliebe – ‘Aise jeebh laplapayi’ has decided to stay away from this campaign as it will damage its brand positioning.

Reacting to this news AIMIM leader Asaduddin Owaisi has voluntarily told Shaitaan Khopdi™ that he will not stop talking rubbish even if Modi puts knife on his neck.

“This is emergency like situation. Government is snatching our freedom to speak nonsense. India cannot survive if people stop talking stupid stuff,” told an MBA student from IIPM who earns his bread and butter by talking non-stop non-sense during client presentations.

Meanwhile an NGO called ‘Cheekh’ has launched an agitation to oppose the ‘ShutUp India’ campaign. Star activist of this NGO ‘Cheekhti Desai’ is famous for opposing anything and everything being done by government and barging into everywhere she is asked not to enter.

This time she and other activists tried to forcefully entered TimesNow studio demanding their right to debate on PrimeTime NewsHour. But unfortunately they ran into a raging Arnab Goswami. When the news last came in, 10 of their activists were admitted in nearest trauma care center and NGO had declared its unconditional support for ‘ShutUp India’ provided Arnab Goswami is brought into the ambit of the initiative.