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Govt requests former PM Manmohan Singh to condemn ceasefire violations by Pakistan

07, Oct 2014 By indianpsycho

New Delhi. After the heaviest ever Pak shelling in decades at LOC, the government today decided to take help of former PM Manmohan Singh, asking him to condemn these ceasefire violations in his imitable style.

BJP leaders, who were confused as to what to do to stop ceasefire violations, sought help of Manmohan after condemnations by their own leaders failed to induce any fear in Pakistan army.

Jaitely requesting MMS.
Jaitely requesting MMS.

The government told Pakistan that times had changed, reminded them that Indian armed forces and paramilitary forces were fully ready to respond, cancelled foreign secretary talks with them, but nothing seemed to work.

“We now want to go back to tried and tested condemnations by our honorable ex-PM,” Home Minister Rajnath Singh confirmed the development to Faking News.

“His condemnations work. The violations were never this severe when he was in charge and successfully mouthing condemnations one after another,” Rajnath hailed Manmohan and accepted his govt’s failure.

NDA government, which has now warned Pakistan of strong retaliation as many number of times as Manmohan condemned them during his tenure, now feels that maybe their warnings are not as effective as his condemnations.

“We don’t know what it is. Maybe after listening to Manmohan ji’s condemnation, Pak soldiers are unable to control their laughter and completely forget about violations or maybe they go off to sleep. But whatever it is, it certainly works better than our responses,” part-time Defense Minister Arun Jaitely confided and hoped that with Manmohan deploring them, ceasefire violations will be brought down to “acceptable levels”.

Govt feels that Manmohan’s condemnations can be good interim solution before they strategize, decide and finalize on how exactly to tackle Pakistan’s growing attacks on LoC.

Meanwhile Manmohan has agreed to help the government. According to sources, the former PM said ‘Theek Hai’, but has asked for 1-2 days time to charge himself.

“He has been on hibernation mode ever since May 16th. His system needs some time to get back to the condemning self,” Mamohan Singh’s wife Gursharan Kaur told Faking News.