Los Angeles. Nobody would have missed watching James Wan’s Conjuring. Right from the Annabelle doll to the witch at the home, and the hide-and-clap scene which had freaked us out and told us to run out of theater. Conjuring, released last year, was revered as “the scariest movie”.
But, hold your breath, for there is the second installment of Conjuring from the same director: “Conjuring 2: Narendra Modi” which is currently being marketed as “the scariest movie ever”.
Already released in the USA and with box office collection skyrocketing the roofs of the cinemas running this sequel of the movie, the horror element is however related to India. The makers of the movie did not reveal photos of Narendra Modi in posters; they did not mention it in any news release either or credited his name anywhere in the movie.
When contacted, one insider from the production house said, “We wanted to scare the audience with a surprise element. If we had put his photo in posters, Asians would have backed off without reading the movie title. That would have been a suicidal marketing.”
There are also plans to release the movie in 3D version, with Polarised 3D Modi glasses, to add horror value to the movie.
Our reporter managed to read reviews from Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritics. One famous critic named Azam Khan of Buffalo, NY gave 5/5 and said, “It is and will be the scariest movie ever seen in the world. I could not understand why the whites had not felt any horror. Some even yawned.”
Twitter users were seen shrieking through their tweets. One Indian from UCLA named Karthik RB had tweeted, “Certainly the scariest scenes ever scene in the history of mankind. My worst nightmare came true #Conjuring2 #NoModi”
But the movie had also received mixed reviews from other quarters in America. A critic named Mark from Washington had reviewed as, “I can give 0.5/5. The Indian guy just walks here and there and stares at the screen silently. And a part of audience screams and jump off their seat. I’m still confused why Wan came up with such a sequel,” while many of the whites had left the theater dazed and confused about why browns are jumping and shouting in horror.
The plot of the movie is simple. Bekar Patel, the hero, moves along with his journalist friends and liberals into new home in Indian state of Gujarat. That home happens to be the neighbor of Modi’s. They do not see his presence at first, but when the antagonist Modi comes out for walk in terrace or for tending the garden, the kids and parents scream alike and gasp in the shadows.
The scariest part of movie is the scene wherein Modi stops and smiles at the family. They perform all sort of ceremonies and even go to the extent of roping Azam Khan’s buffaloes to ward off the evil. But nothing happens as per their wish. The movie ends with a trembling Patel leaving the house.
When contacted, Neil from NewLine Cinemas, who had produced and released the movie, said, “Our primary target for this movie is definitely not the usual ‘Muricans. We have developed this movie specifically to cash on the huge market of India-Middle east-Europe and Pakistan. Seculars are scared of Narendra Modi and 26% of the world population are Seculars. Moreover, Secularism is the fastest growing religion, which when projected economically, means that 1 in every 5 person will be buying this movie ticket to get the horror experience.”
“This movie when released internationally, which is this Friday, will be the top-grossing movie forever. Already, the Seculars and Modi-Hating Highly qualified Educated Intelligent What-Not Liberals in ‘Murica are watching this movie for 4-5 times to enjoy that horror emotion. That is why our movie got such huge opening despite non-cooperation from local whites here. We are also going to use NGOs to spread awareness about this movie,” he added.
Our foreign correspondent then approached James Wan, the director of the movie. When asked about the reason for choosing Narendra Modi, he sounded enthusiastic, “Actually, we thought of casting Modi himself. But, he does not have visa to come here. Also, he denied to act in our movie. That’s fascism! So, we took clips of Modi from ads and rallies and inserted it to make the scariest moments of the movie. Our guess went right. In one scene, we showed scariest ghost enter, and then Modi walks beside it. The audience who yawned at the ghost, suddenly sat upright and shrieked at their shrill voices for Modi. This will become the scariest movie in Indian subcontinent for sure. We are arranging to show the movie to Indian journalists first. I am sure they will enjoy the horror. Also, we are planning for an Indian release on May 17.”
There were reports about seculars having heart attacks and panic attacks while watching this movie. Many had tried to run away from theater. Certainly, this is going to be the “scariest movie ever”.
Meanwhile, there were reports from sources inside Warner Bros., that they are planning along with Constantin Films to produce another installment in the Resident Evil series. They are trying to rope in Sagarika Ghose to act in the lead role. The storyline is rumored to be Sagarika Ghose fighting off the Internet Hindus Zombies – Modi bhakts combo and the film has been currently titled as “Resident Evil: Internet Hindus”.