Inspired by Steve Ballmer, Rahul Gandhi to retire for better future of Congress

25, Aug 2013 By idiot420

New Delhi. Showing unconditional love for his party Congress, Rahul Gandhi has decided to opt for voluntary retirement before the next general election. Rahul took this step to secure a better future for the party.

“Sacrificing personal goals for party is not new for the Gandhi family, Madam Ji did in 2004, Rahul Ji doing it now,” said a senior party leader reacting on Rahul’s decision, “But we want him back. We need his guidance because if Congress party is computer, Rahul Gandhi is the default program.”

Rahul Gandhi
Rahul Gandhi saying goodbye

Congress has announced one week of official mourning and Youth Congress members are trying to convince the Youth Icon to reconsider his decision, but Rahul is firm on his decision.

Political analysts are seeing it as a well calculated move by the party high command to checkmate BJP. Rahul’s announcement is being compared with Microsoft’s CEO Steve Ballmer’s retirement announcement.

During Steve Ballmer’s 13 year reign, Microsoft’s market value dropped from $600 billion to $269 billion, but as soon as he announced retirement, Microsoft’s share price jumped by 9%.

“Congress could see a similar turnaround of prospects. This could be the game changer,” said an analyst explaining impact of Rahul’s retirement.

“You can easily draw an analogy between party’s failure in Uttar Pradesh polls under Rahul’s leadership and Microsoft Surface’s market failure under Ballmer’s leadership,” he further added.

An opinion poll conducted by Faking News confirmed that support base of Congress has increased like prices of onion after this announcement.

If sources are to be believed, there is a feeling of rejuvenation among majority of Congressmen too, but they are afraid of being suspended if they show their enthusiasm openly.

“We want even Digvijay Singh out of our party,” said a Congress party member on condition of anonymity, “I am sure Congress image will skyrocket once he is out.”