Patna: For the first time in history of Bihar there would be a ‘Faansi’ Rally and it will be organized by none other than Lalu Prasad. But don’t worry this will be just symbolic faansi where in participants will just wear the noose around their necks, get some pictures clicked and do some naarebaazi.
Lalu will then share some subtle jokes, wave to the crowd ‘Sonia-ji style’ and all will be well.
In a press conference earlier today Lalu almost screamed into the microphone. He said, “Sasura, today I have ordered a 40 meter long rope on Falip kaarat daat caam in their Big bullion shaapping, to be delivered via express delivery. I am going to stage my ‘faansi’ protest next week.”
“And why am I doing this? Well, Modi is saying he will end reservation, and in response to that I have threatened that I’ll hang myself to death if that happens. Being a people’s person I am, I care a lot about that fact that people who belong to backwards classes should get their due rights and respect. They should get all the government freebies, even if they are filthy rich already,” Lalu suddenly spoke in fluent English which left the media shocked.
When media asked Lalu why he ordered a 40 meter rope, because usually a 10 meter rope is sufficient to hang one person till death, he smiled and explained, “Tum budbak samajhta nahin ho. I am not alone in this. Three more people would be participating in the ‘faansi’ rally with me, Nitiswa, Rahul baba and Mulayam ji. All four of us would stage this pre-planned ‘faansi’ in front of packed crowd. ‘Fantastic Four ki faansi’ will be the news headline the next day, I hope.”
“While Nitiswa and Rahulwa are my business partners within Bihar, Mulayam ji is our reliable off-shore politics management consultant. Although his billing-rate is pretty high, he has been offering some real solid consulting advice to our maha-gath-bandhan and is an integral part of our maha-swabhiman campaign against maha-fascist, maha-communal forces and maha-nikamma media. Hence he needs to be a part of this rally,” he said angrily.
Lalu’s ecstatic speech came to a sudden end with a loud noise of bullet fire in a nearby neighborhood which indicated the beginning of election season and sudden surge in employment numbers in Bihar.