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Manmohan Singh bites subsidy bullet, loses half his teeth

16, Sep 2012 By Guest Patrakar

New Delhi. In an unfortunate incident, Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh broke his teeth while “biting the subsidy bullet”. This happened after the government approved decisions like limiting subsidy on LPG cylinders, increasing price of diesel, and allowing FDI in retail and aviation sector.

Immediately after the incident, the PM was rushed to a private dentist in New Delhi, and contrary to the popular perception, Manmohan Singh did open his mouth there.

“Prime Minister is doing well and is in a good state, but what isn’t clear is the state of the bullet that the PM tried to bite,” a press release from the PMO informed.

Manmohan Singh
Dr. Manmohan Singh’s teeth are usually not visible, though they were always there.

It’s believed that Dr. Singh broke his entire set of upper teeth while biting the bullet in his Delhi office. While the PMO is silent over details, the incident has led to fresh political controversy.

“Such a weak Prime Minister, and now toothless too,” BJP leader L K Advani reacted, “We believe that his teeth were already weak due to using Coalgate and he should have waited before biting the bullet.”

“Waited until after losing the general elections,” Advani hoped clarified.

The left parties too condemned the entire exercise saying “the PM got what he deserved”. They claimed that the bullet had originated from the USA and it had gathered huge momentum when it reached India.

“Instead of biting it, we need to erect huge walls around the country, like they did in China, to stop such bullets,” Karat told Faking News.

Opposite parties apart, even the UPA allies like West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee showed no mercy for an injured Prime Minister.

“We were not consulted and we’d have never advised him to bite the bullet,” Ms. Banerjee said, “If the PM bites the bullet, it sends out a wrong message to the public. Common man will think that there is not enough to eat in the country and hence PM ate bullet.”

On the other hand the industry and the markets have welcomed the PM biting the bullet even if it meant he lost almost half of his teeth.

“Look at the brighter side, he still has some teeth left and there are various other bullets waiting to be fired,” an economist said.

Meanwhile doctors have advised some rest to Dr. Manmohan Singh and have asked him to take liquid food due to loss of his teeth.

“Liquid? Let PM have beer. We will ensure he gets it free,” offered a visibly elated Vijay Mallya, Chairman of Kingfisher Airlines, who also welcomed cabinet’s decision to allow FDI in aviation sector.

(reported by Holck Larsen, otherwise engaged as a Chemical Engineer in an obscure part of the country who wishes not to receive any law suits regarding this article)