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Meira Kumar opposes iPads, demands silencers for MPs

03, Sep 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. Lok Sabha speaker Meira Kumar is reportedly not too excited about MPs being given iPads or other high end tablets to make parliamentary proceedings paper-free; she has demanded “silencers” for MPs instead.

“Paper is not any hindrance or problem; waste paper like the unread copies of the union budget speech can be recycled,” Ms. Kumar is supposed to have argued with the parliamentary committee that had sanctioned 50,000 rupees for each MP to buy an Apple iPad or Samsung Galaxy tab.

The Lok Sabha speaker further expressed concerns that the honorable members could download tablet applications like “Air Horn” that is used to make noisy sounds like a siren or a Vuvuzela, and disturb the parliamentary proceedings whenever they disagree with a point being made.

Meira Kumar, Lok Sabha Speaker
Meira Kumar, apparently showing the way out to a noisy MP, but the MP went on to make a statement that was later removed from the parliament records (paper archives).

“These tablets are not going to cure my headache,” Meira Kumar had complained to the committee and asked them to drop plans of giving high-end communication gadgets to the MPs.

Ms. Kumar, who is often heard saying “baith jaaiye, shaant ho jaaiye” (please sit down, please keep quiet), has requested the Parliamentary Affairs Minister to find out if “silencers” could be given to the MPs during parliamentary proceedings.

“Some gadget that could be made compulsory for each MP to wear whenever he or she enters the parliamentary premises,” Ms. Kumar is said to have proposed.

“They could be like a helmet or a gas-mask in shape, but would make the area around the mouth air-tight,” she explained her vision of the urgently required gadget for the MPs, “There would be provision allowing them to breathe by letting fresh air go in, but I should have the control to stop the air from vocal chords from coming out.”

Although “human silencers” are not currently available for use by the masses, experts believe that a modified version of what astronauts wear when going into outer space could be designed for the MPs to make parliamentary proceedings smoother and more meaningful.

“It could cost more than a tablet, but I guess the results would be to the effect as desired by the Madam Speaker,” an expert argued and claimed that Meira Kumar’s suggestion could be implemented if there was enough “political will”.

Meanwhile unconfirmed reports suggest that China has already produced around thousand cheap iPads and is planning flood markets in New Delhi around the Parliament.

“They are even offering fake bills to the extent of 50,000 rupees,” a man dealing with fake Chinese goods claimed.

(originally written for and published in English daily DNA)