Sunday, 23rd February, 2020


Met warns Congress of ‘Cyclone Rahulin’ as pressure builds around banning opinion polls

05, Nov 2013 By idiot420

New Delhi. The Meteorological Department of India has warned Congress of another possible ‘Cyclone Rahulin’ and has urged Congressmen to take all precautionary measures to keep the losses at minimum.

This urgent message is being issued to alert Congress members, especially party spokespersons who are regularly going out of their home and visiting news channels to issue statements in support of ban on opinion polls.

Met officials have warned that the storm is expected to make landfall at any ongoing Congress press conference, causing extensive damage to the spokespersons present at the conference.

Rahul Gandhi
The lull before the last storm

Last time it was on 27th of September when Congress was hit by same Level-4 cyclone, ‘Rahulin‘, which was formed due to low pressure zone created by absence of sense within the party over the ordinance issue. Most badly affected people in that cyclone were party spokespersons.

“Our satellite system has spotted formation of similar wind and pressure pattern; this time over the banning of opinion poll issue. Congress party is lying in low sense zone, so a sudden inward spiraling winds is quite likely in next 48 hours,” meteorological department head Narayan Mishra confirmed to Faking News.

“We are expecting possible condemnation of ‘Ban on opinion polls’ with voice intensity ranging from 110 decibels (sound level at front rows of rock Concert) to 140 decibels (sound level of military jet takeoff),” added Mr. Mishra, explaining the gravity of situation, “In the worst case, it may go up to 160 decibels, which can cause instant perforation of eardrums.”

“To other parties it would not be that harmful, but for Congressmen, who start shaking even at a 60 decibel of Rahulin, it will be really tough to survive this cyclone,” he warned of the consequences.

In its official release, the met department has urged the Congressmen to stay away from media, find a safer ground, and inform their friends and family about their whereabouts.

Post this warning, Congress is reported to be on high alert and trying all possible ways to minimize the damage.

“None of the party spokespersons will be allowed to organize any press meet in next 48 hours,” said Congress leader Ajay Maken, who himself was present at the landfall site of 27th of September Cyclone Rahulin.

Meanwhile, some party workers have gathered at 10 Janpath and started praying to the ‘Cyclone Rahulin’ to propitiate the god of good things.